The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Very cute story. Joshua is a good example of love for our fellow man.
02/29/08
Out of the mouths--and hands--of babes...faith acts! Excellent writing.
03/01/08
Very sweet story. I LOVE Joshua - what a tender heart.
03/02/08
Very precious!

I wasn't sure what Bill's leaving had to do with the rest of the story; since it never "went anywhere", it almost seemed like part of a different story with these same characters.

Watch out for run-on sentences.

I love stories that show the sweetness and innocence of children.
03/02/08
Interesting story up until the last line; then, when the tears popped out - it was an Touching, Emotional story. I loved it!

Critique: It needs some editing on punctuation and spelling...then could be a winner for sure.
Awww. What an adorable story! Joshua was so sweet; it's amazing what kids will do sometimes.