Lois dutifully dialed the phone expecting another long, dull chitchat. Lois’ aging mother answered the ring of her rotary dial phone and they exchanged their normal greetings and began a mother to daughter dialogue.
“Hi. Sweetheart, I’m so glad you called; I have some exciting news to tell you.”
Lois thought that maybe her mom was going to dinner with an old friend at the corner diner, “I have no idea, mom. What are you up to?”
“I’ve joined the Latter-Day Saint Church!”
There was a moment of silence followed by a statement loud enough for any eighty-four year old grand mother of sixteen to hear, “What did you say?”
“Sweetie, I joined the Latter-day Saint Church!”
Lois called her mom every other Sunday. It was much easier then driving the forty-five mile trip to Buckley. Most of her mom’s chatty conversations were boring and had something to do with some old friend’s obituary. However, today’s phone call had taken on an unusual twist.
“How could you do this mom? You grew up in the Lutheran Church! You cannot just join the Mormon Church when you’re in your eighties!”
“Oh yes I can, and I did!”
“Mother, please give me one good reason for you to join a cult.”
“Sweetheart, listen to this, they visit me each week at my house. They stop by and we talk about life and faith. You know how hard it is for me to get to church. These young men are the best boys I ever met. How could you call them a cult?”
“It’s all an act; do not let those cute boys fool you! Those blond boys are wild and crazy cultists!”
“Sweetheart you can say whatever you want but these guys are the real thing. I needed my leaves raked for the last two years. They came over last Saturday with six other nice people from the church and raked my leaves, washed my windows and fixed my garage door. How can you say anything bad about such nice people?”
“Mom how could you do this to me?”
“Sweetheart nothing has changed, I love you and will always love you. Let’s not argue over this. I have a question for you; will you be coming for Thanksgiving?”
Lois’ frustration turned to embarrassment. “Mom, I’m sorry. Jerry and I have meant to tell you that we are going to Las Vegas over Thanksgiving. You will find something to do. They have a meal at the senior center.”
“Don’t worry about me I will find someone to spend time with on Thanksgiving. You have a great time in Vegas sweetheart. Thanks for calling. Bye-bye!”
Jerry was watching a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond and finishing up the last bites of his potpie when Lois entered his television sanctuary. She looked pale and faint. Yet her voice was extremely clear and exceptionally loud.
“Jerry, get up and do something! I have never been so embarrassed! It’s your fault, Jerry! Why didn’t you ever rake her leaves?! My mom is a Mormon!”
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