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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: Greener Grass
By c clemons
01/30/08


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“What on earth are you doing?” asked Julie’s best friend Carol.

“Shh, close the door quick so they won’t see the light.” whispered Julie as she observed the couple outside by the pool.

“I wondered what you were doing in here. It’s not nice to spy on people. Especially since one of those people was kind enough to invite us to her slammin’ birthday party.”

“Shhhhh! I know that, and believe me, I was shocked when she came over to us at the nerd table at lunch yesterday and gave us the invite. I mean, imagine us, the two geekiest girls in school getting invited to the biggest blowout party there is! God, I would do anything to be as cool as Jenny. She has the best clothes, the best bod, the best boyfriends and look at this house. I bet her parents are great too, or at least treat her like she’s an adult.”

“I agree totally, but why are you spying on her and that boy Todd?” asked Carol.

“’Cause, I’ve had a crush on Todd since grade school and he’s never even noticed me. I’ve been scoping Jenny all night; I want to be like her. I want her hair, her slammin’ bod, and I want Todd.” answered Julie.

“What’s wrong with your hair, and your body? whispered Carol.

“Don’t try to be funny Carol, boys are not exactly beating down my door to date me. Let’s see, I am least twenty pounds overweight and my acne is not what I want boys to remember about me.”

“What about the fact, that you’re kind, and smart?” replied Carol.

“Yeah, but I want to be happy. I want Jenny’s life.”

“Oh, get a grip, you’re happy, you have both your mom and dad, Jenny’s parents are divorced. In fact, I haven’t even seen one of them tonight. You have a bunch of friends, nerds we might be but at least we’re there for each other. Jenny’s crowd they’re always stabbing each other in the back.”

“I don’t think so, it’s just harder when you’re in the “in” crowd to maintain relationships, you never know who might be hanging around just for their own gain.”

“Like you?”

“No way, I do admire Jenny, she’s on the cheerleading squad, class president and homecoming queen, but if I were in her crowd it would be as a true friend to her.”

“Well, I may not have all that going for me but I like me, and being just sixteen I’m pretty sure God is not thru with me yet, or you. Let’s get out of here and go enjoy the party.”

“Wait - look, her and Todd. Looks like they’re having an argument. Oh my God! She slapped him!”

As the girls watched, Todd walked away from Jenny, leaving her alone and looking angry.

“Should we go out there?” asked Carol.

“No way, and let her know we were spying?”

“YOU were spying. Look she’s coming back into the house.”

The girls came out of the room and they noticed Jenny was bubbly as ever and Todd was nowhere to be seen. The party went on way past curfew but Julie and Carol had left when things looked like they were getting out hand.

The next morning when Julie woke up, she was still excited about going to an “in crowd” party and the possibilities that this might bring. Maybe Jenny would now consider her and Carol as part of her inner circle and show her how to dress and attract boys. She smiled as she ran downstairs for breakfast. Her mom called to her from the kitchen and asked her to bring in the morning paper.

“Sure Mom” Julie called back.

She picked up the paper from the doormat and the headline read. “TEEN SLASHES WRISTS AFTER PARTY” Socialite Megan Cramer’s daughter Jennifer Cramer found dead last night after her sweet sixteen party. Sources say last night’s party was believed to be unsupervised and …

Julie felt her body go numb.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/02/08
You did a good job with the teen lingo, and with the awful feelings that so many teens have of trying to fit in. This was very realistic.

I understand why you had the girl speak this way, but many will be troubled by the "Oh, my God" bits.

The ending was heartbreaking--you did a good job.

Joanney Uthe02/05/08
Great job showing how sometimes we are warned that things are not as they seem and yet we refuse to admit that. I saw one missed quotation mark, but overall great writing.