The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/08
You did a good job with the teen lingo, and with the awful feelings that so many teens have of trying to fit in. This was very realistic.

I understand why you had the girl speak this way, but many will be troubled by the "Oh, my God" bits.

The ending was heartbreaking--you did a good job.

02/05/08
Great job showing how sometimes we are warned that things are not as they seem and yet we refuse to admit that. I saw one missed quotation mark, but overall great writing.