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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Home Group (11/29/07)
Suzy set out the snacks and flavorful punch.
Tidied the couch, the chairs and such.
Ran the vacuum and dusted, so all was clean.
Sprayed air fresheners and made windows gleam.

All in preparation to impress the group.
Hoping to seem righteous in the spiritual loop.
Trying to gain favor by her acts and deeds.
Not for God, but for the attention she needs.

Ellie wants to please her Father above.
So she opens her home because of love.
She teaches scriptures to help others grow.
They learn righteousness by the example she shows.

All in preparation to teach the group.
It’s not all about some spiritual loop.
For God’s not impressed by an act or deed.
He wants us to know that He’s what we need.

Are we a Suzy, or an Ellie in our church?
Do we seek people, or is God where we search?
God should be the focus of our Christian walk.
It should show in our acts and how we talk.

For this reason we should always strive.
To set the example by our daily lives.
So others see Christ in all we say and do.
Yes! I want to be an Ellie; how about you?
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This article has been read 1292 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
12/06/07
Lots of truth here. I think we all can learn from this. Enjoyed this read!
Debbie Wistrom
12/07/07
Very nice, the message is awesome and yes, I want to be an Ellie
Temple Miller
12/09/07
Great lesson packed in this little poem! Good read.
Diane Johnson
12/11/07
Amen and amen! I really liked this! Thank you and bless you!
Jan Ackerson
12/12/07
Cute poem to use as a bulletin insert, perhaps.

I wonder if the group/loop rhyme is a bit forced.

I like rhyming poetry to be short and sweet, as otherwise it gets tiresome. This one is NOT tiresome in the least...it has charm and just enough "lesson."
Tim Pickl
12/12/07
Wow! This reminds me of something I saw on a button that a waitress was wearing: I am a People Pleaser.

Are we People Pleasers or God Pleasers? Where is our focus? Excellent rhyming and rhythm with a perfect message!
Loren T. Lowery
12/13/07
If we could see other's hearts like God does, I'm know which of the two houses I would find myself. I liked the way you showed the two contrasting motives and the way it makes us stop to think of our own.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
12/13/07
I loved the thought here. "God should be the focus of our religious walk" is exactly the right message, for home group, as well as in all our actions.
Sharlyn Guthrie
12/13/07
A Mary and Martha concept with a modern day spin. Very nice. And the rhyming format works well, too. Charming!
Catrina Bradley
12/13/07
I love the glimpses into 2 home group leaders, and the lesson shown in the differences.
RED PEN: The cadence/rhythm (don't know the exact term) is just a bit off. Not to re-write for you, but if you changed the first stanza just a bit, each line would have 9 syllables and flow off the tongue better:

Sue set out snacks and flavorful punch
Tided the couch and the chairs and such.
Vacuumed and dusted so all was clean.
Sprayed air freshener and made windows gleam.
(I know "freshener" is technically 3 syllables, but it's usually pronounced as 2.)
Keep it up - I really liked your poem!
:) Love, Cat