Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Christian Baptism (10/18/07)

TITLE: Jesus, I B'lieve
By Laury Hubrich
10/20/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Grandfather and grandson sat beside each other and fished off the rickety old dock of the small lake. The sound of their voices drifted up the hill where Ruth stood and watched the morning sun rise in brilliant color. She smiled as she heard the little soprano voice of Payton compared to the bass voice of her husband. Without even being there she knew the rods were between their legs. Ralph would be drinking his thermos of coffee; Payton, his hot chocolate. Hats a little askew and jackets shrugged off long ago, the two were mirror images of each other, one a little old and the other a little young.

“Grandpa, do you love Jesus?”

“Of course I love Jesus. Why do you ask?”

Payton looked up at the sky. “I dunno. Just thinkin’.”

Grandpa’s rod wiggled a little and both got excited and jumped to their feet. “Don’t let ‘em get away. Betcha it’s a big one! Wait ‘til Grandma sees this!”

Grandpa pulled and tugged and held the rod high as he proudly displayed – a shoe. “Payton, how about let’s not tell grandma about this one?”

“Yeah.”

Payton settled back into his chair, his rod forgotten, as he scrunched his face up as if deep in thought and scratched an itchy spot on his nose. “Grandpa?”

“Yes, Payton.”

“I wanna get baptized.”

Grandpa laid his rod down and threw the soppy old shoe off to the side. He looked at Payton, surprised and a little teary-eyed. “Buddy, you’re so young. What? Second grade now?”

“Been thinkin’ a long time.”

“We’ll have to talk to your mom and dad.”

“Grandpa, there’s sumpin’ else.”

Ralph wasn’t at all sure his heart could take another surprise. He wished Ruth would walk on down the hill and help him out of this. “What else, Payton?”

“I want you to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Baptize me, Grandpa; in this lake like Jesus was baptized.”

This definitely was too much on the old ticker. He moved his chair closer to his grandson, wrapped his arm around his small shoulders and they sat: both quiet, both deep in thought.

“Welp, guess it’s time to talk to the family.”

Payton helped his grandpa out of the chair. They gathered their things, hid the shoe behind a rock, and trudged up the hill to where Ruth waited; breakfast smells in the air encouraged them along.

Payton was a determined little boy. Between the two of them presenting his case, it was finally agreed that he would get his wish. A couple of days later everyone was invited to the lake for a baptism.

Family and friends stood on the shore and watched as two generations made their way through the water. Payton stood proudly in a t-shirt and swimming trunks and all grew quiet when he began to speak.

“I asked Jesus in my heart. You might think I’m too young but Jesus told me I was just right. Grandpa said I have to say these words to you even though I already went through all this with Jesus, so here goes.”

The crowd laughed and scooted in closer so they could hear more clearly. Camcorders zoomed in and the click of cameras sounded.

Payton bowed his head and in a loud, clear voice he prayed. “Jesus, I b’lieve You are Christ, Son of God. Come into my heart and live there forever, ‘kay? Amen.” He raised his head and tugged on his grandpa’s shirt. He waited for as long as he could and now all patience drained from his body. “Grandpa, can you baptize me now?”

Again the crowd stirred, stifled giggles and wiped runny noses and tears from their eyes.

Ralph looked down at his small charge. “Payton, as your grandfather and your preacher, I baptize you in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” He then pushed his grandson backwards into the cool, murky water.

This act of obedience complete, Ralph picked up his grandson and lifted him out of the water into his arms. The slightly graying mop of curly hair touched the dark curly mop of drippy wetness, and both flashed the same funny lopsided grin. “I would like to introduce you all to the newest member of the family of God – Payton, my grandson.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 927 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 10/25/07
Love the characterization - especially of Peyton. He was so real (and SUCH a second grader!). Delightful story.
JoAnne Potter10/25/07
Love this. Not only is your characterization perfectly frank and impatient, but your subtle way of weaving in theology just right.
Jan Ackerson 10/25/07
Absolutely precious.
Debbie Wistrom10/26/07
What a pair, what memories. thanks for the fine story.
Seema Bagai 10/26/07
Wonderful story!
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/26/07
What a sweet, lovely story! Watch for POV problems, but otherwise well-written.
Lynda Schultz 10/27/07
Great story. When the Bible says that a little child will take the lead, it wasn't kidding. Well done.
c clemons10/28/07
Good story, good job!
LauraLee Shaw10/29/07
Oh the goose pimples! I just read this and then RE-read it to my children. We all loved it. WONderful story.
Verna Cole Mitchell 10/30/07
I loved this wonderfully tender story.
Joanney Uthe10/30/07
I enjoyed this story. You changed POV from Ruth to Ralph during the story. The characters were very real. Good job.
Beckie Stewart10/31/07
Very delightful and easy read.
Sara Harricharan 10/31/07
I can't help saying that this is a cute story! It flowed just so right, and could even be a children's story! I liked Peyton and especially his dialouge. It's so good. Great writing! ^_^
Marita Vandertogt10/31/07
Good characterization, and a delightful read. I love the idea of two generations coming together in a life changing event. Nicely done.
Betty Castleberry10/31/07
Despite that POV thing, this is a delightful read. Love the tone, and love your little boy. Well done.
Brenda Welc11/01/07
Can I just say you touched my heart with this one? Great writing a good feel to the story.
Patricia Todd11/01/07
Congratulations on your placing. Well deserved.
Linda Roth11/06/07
Very well done. It has all the elements a good story should have. I could smell breakfast, hear the water, see the emotions, and identified with your characters and their faith.