The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/22/07
Your title was good, and I wanted to see where you were going to go with it. Actually this said alot but then ended up saying nothing to the reader. Maybe this was very personal and only meant to be understood by the writer.
09/23/07
I agree with the above comment. This appears to have some very deep meaning, but maybe not understood by most readers.

The writing conveys a lot of emotion. I want to know more of this story. Where are these emotions coming from?

Keep writing -- you seem to have a lot to share.