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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)

TITLE: "Where's the Beef?"
By Beth LaBuff


In the middle of a traffic lane --
State Highway Sixty Two
Occurred two situations.
I’ll relate them both to you.

The FIRST -- A mishap happened
Accompanied by a “clunk“.
The oil pan of a pickup truck
Encountered Mr. Skunk.

Both truck and skunk were altered.
The truck drove down the road.
The odor emanating
Surpassed emission’s code.

The skunk remained where he was struck.
His beating heart -- it ceased.
The oil pan tattooed on him
A tiny spot of grease.

Then after several days has passed
Since his life had ended,
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” --
Just as God intended.

Decomposition had ensued,
Assisted by a worm,
Mortimer Maggot, Esquire
And little brother, Squirm.

The SECOND -- ‘Twas Squirm Maggot,
Skunk meat he wouldn’t eat.
No matter how he tried to chew,
This feat he couldn’t complete.

To explain this situation,
Involves terms so complex--
Suffice to say ‘twas basically
A faulty gag reflex.

A tiny tear slid from his eye
And puddled in a pool.
Squirm decried that eating skunk
Was punishment most cruel.

His nose was very sensitive.
His taste buds -- tres acute.
His stomach lurched with every bite.
Skunk meat was his dispute.

A heated battle soon arose,
And neither would white-flag it.
“I will not eat the stinkin’ skunk.
It’s enough to gag a maggot.”

Then Mortimer relented and
Gave in to Squirm’s demand.
They’d search for fare less pungent
And dine on something bland.

--No animals were harmed in the writing of this poem.--

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This article has been read 3037 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jess Godwin04/20/07
*snicker* this was great!!
Misti Chancellor04/20/07
Too funny! :-) Thanks for the laugh.
Michelle Burkhardt04/22/07
Clever title and very funny end note. I loved this poem. A winner in my book. Great job.
Jacquelyn Horne04/23/07
This is cute. I did notice some verb errors here. But the overall poem was delightful, in a "gaging" sort of way.
Marilyn Schnepp 04/24/07
The funniest part is the Title, especially after digesting(?) the poem. Although not exactly the sweetest poem I've ever read...it was the most creative...bar none! Very cute, but I admit I shuddered with pangs of nausea while I smiled. Nicely done (meter off a mite-but didn't take away from the ghastly & stinky accident) and I thought a very unique take on humor. Kudos!
Emily Gillilan04/24/07
so great..."no animals were harmed in the making of this poem" Some nice rhyming lines in there too, clever.
Patricia Casey04/26/07
Very funny. I see why you won first place. You're a creative writer.
In Jesus' Name,
Elizabeth Baize 04/26/07
Beth, When I was judging, I was overwhelmed by how you delicately handled your difficult topic with such skill. It was truly quite hilarious. Congratulations on your win! Blessings, Elizabeth
Julie Arduini04/26/07
This is hysterical, what a great win for you! Congratulations!
Loren T. Lowery04/26/07
Delicate subject indeed - but you handled it with great mirth that made it oh so enoyable. Congratulations on your win.
Marilee Alvey04/26/07
Excellent job! Humorous and just plain cute! Very creative, very imaginative. Don't look now but you've got talent! *No animals were harmed in this review, either! That was precious!
Julayne Muller04/27/07
congrats on your first place! I liked this one :)
Kate Grey05/01/07
Very fun. No wonder you placed first! Congrats.
Betsy Markman04/25/08
A clever work, this poem here
Took lots of time to do, methinks,
The writing skill I must revere
Although the subject matter stinks