The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1115 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/17/06
This really made me think! I was wondering how she was going to die - you definitely surprised me at the end! There was a point when I felt confused about the regular narrative seeming to "mix in" with the italicized part. Overall, however, I found this quite effective and the italicized portions were especially enjoyable. Thanks for writing!
08/18/06
I enjoyed the way you mixed the two aspects of the story - a narrative about the valley's past, and the present situation of the young character.
08/22/06
Powerful! Loved the mingling of the past and present and how they effected each other.
08/22/06
What a wonderful approach to valley. You kept me interested the whole way through, wondering how she might die, physical or die to herself. A valley can be nothing more than a rut that says, "We've always done it this way and don't you dare change things UP." Loved it.
08/22/06
Loved the dialogue, description,and theme in this piece. Very creative.
A most creative use of the prompt Valley. The writing is smooth and the dialoge realistic. Nice work!
08/23/06
With her "chewed off nails," you have created an endearing character in Kelsey. She's human, vulnerable, curious, and a perfect balance in opposition to the setting which remains unruffled by time and change.
08/23/06
I enjoyed your creative approach to the topic. I found this to be thought-provoking. The idea of a place where everyone does the same thing their whole life without ever questioning or wanting more is not only sad but frightening. They miss out on the truth. I especially liked the italicized part at the beginning and at the end. The twist about her dying was also really good.
08/23/06
I really really enjoyed this! I loved the repeated phrases throughout the piece and the twist at the end. This was very well written. Great work! Thanks for taking us on your detour.
08/24/06
Wow! I thought this was fantastic! (don't like the gross parts but ...) I loved it! GREAT writing!