Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
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TITLE: "YEAH BUT, . . . ." | Previous Challenge Entry
By Donald Mehl
07/15/06 -
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Suddenly I found myself in a strange but very real place. It was horrible in there. I then realized I didn’t have a body, but somehow I was thirsty, hot, tormented and continually threatened. The nonstop screaming and crying from the many others in that evil place was unbearable.
I have no idea how long I was in that awful place. Maybe it was a thousand years or more – I just don’t know. However, moments ago I was instantly taken from there, given a body and placed in with a massive crowd of people. There must be millions of them standing here with me.
All of us are now starting to move slowly in one direction toward some focal point. In the distance I can see a brilliant white throne with someone sitting on it holding large books. Finally, I am able to read words boldly engraved on the throne. They read, Great White Throne Judgment.
Great White Throne Judgment! What’s up with that? I certainly don’t belong here. From what I remember, that judgment is only for the real bad guys. The killers and rapists, the child molesters, the people who don’t believe in God, and those who don’t go to church are the types of people who belong here. That’s not me! I’m just a soccer mom trying to raise a nice family! I believe in God and Jesus. I go to church a lot too. There must be some mistake!
Before I realize it, I am standing directly in front of that awesome throne. I know that the person sitting there must be Jesus Himself, but He doesn’t look anything like the paintings I’ve seen. Instead of a loving radiant face, I now see one that is commanding authority and power as well as a face portraying grave concern.
As He looked at me, His piercing eyes seemed to probe deep within my heart and soul. He spoke with a pure voice unlike any I had ever heard before.
He asked, “My child, do you know why you are here?”
“Well, frankly I don’t know. I shouldn’t be here. My life was going great before all this happened. I want it back again. I just want to see my family and . . . .”
The response from Him is quick and sure. “I’ll tell you why you are here. Before you died in that car crash, you had rejected My message of salvation. Now it’s too late. Your name is not written in this Book of Life because only the names of true born again believers are recorded there. The souls of those people immediately went to heaven when they died. Your soul went into hell to await this final judgment. Didn’t you believe what I wrote to you in the Bible? Didn’t you believe Me when I said I am the way, the truth, and the life?”
“Yeah but, my name must be there. I believed most of what you said, although I did think there were other ways to heaven. What about all those good things I did? I was a good mom, I tried to love everyone, I brought hot dishes to church events, and I . . . .”
“Yes My child, you did many good things. But you never repented of your sins, nor did you ask Me to forgive them. You never invited Me into your heart as your Savior and Lord. I was never your friend, you never talked to Me and you never put your faith and trust in Me.”
“Yeah but, . . . .”
“Depart from Me, I never knew you.”
Revelation 20:11-12,15 (NKJV)
11 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. 12 And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. 15 And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.
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Another reason why I liked this is, you didn't tell me what a soul was, you defined the Why! Why the condition of our soul and those of others is important. I'm encouraged, Thank You!
The words that tell it all: "'I was never your friend, you never talked to Me and you never put your faith and trust in Me.'”
Yes, there are a few places where the writing could be tighter, maybe even more descriptive. But the message is spot on! Keep writing with this passion, and you'll reach many with the Gospel!
'that' and 'had' most times can removed from the sentence and it will still work. Here's a site which may help you....autocritic.com, it sure has helped me to write tighter.
May the Lord continue to guide your quill as you write for the glory of HIM!
Personally, I think this will place. And if it doesn't, maybe you could polish it up and make a tract out of it.