Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: STIR (11/12/15)
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TITLE: Renegade | Previous Challenge Entry
By Bob Wood
11/18/15 -
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“Morning Pastor.”
The pastor smiled and greeted Tim with a hearty, “Hello there and how is Tim today?” He really liked Tim. He had accepted Christ only a year ago, but had really grown in his faith.
Tim replied, “I have this real desire to get people stirred up in their faith and serving God. There is so much going on in this day and age with God being thrown out of the schools and now government and public buildings. With the acceptance of gay marriage and abortion is has gotten to the point where there is no right or wrong, just a blurred gray line. I believe the church as a body should be more involved, don’t you?”
Pastor’s smile turned to a look of displeasure. “Tim, I know you are excited about your faith and you want to do a lot for God, but you shouldn’t become a renegade running wild. We can know that God is in control, and we can pray. Also, we can show our light to all we meet and work with by showing Jesus.” The pastor looked at Tim hoping that this would appease him, but to no avail.
Tim replied, “Wasn’t Jesus a renegade? Did Jesus just go to the synagogue and pray all day, then go out to the streets and smile at people, telling them to have a nice day?” Tim was really getting worked up by this time. “No, Jesus went out to the people , the hurting and sick, old and young, preaching to them in parables, teaching them about God and His love for them. Jesus stirred them up to the point that the Sadducees and Pharisees plotted to get rid of Him.
I believe this is the same mission that we are to do today. To do as Jesus did! Was it not Jesus who said even greater things shall you do? No Pastor, I believe it is time that the church gets out of the pews and out to the people who are broken, hurting; people with no hope and minister to them. It is a dying world out there and the world needs Jesus more than ever.”
The pastor was getting very upset by this. How can I defuse this so Tim won’t go out and make a fool of himself or embarrass the church? He tried his best to calm Tim down but he could see it wasn’t working.
Tim looked at the pastor, “Thanks for listening to me. As for me, I am going to be a Renegade for Jesus and stir things up.” At that, he turned and walked out the door.
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Each person is to be the salt of the earth so it is the duty of each person to not loose his/her savior.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who was saved out of the gang culture. He was reading his Bible and wanted to know "when are we going to start doing the stuff?" He was referring to 'heal the sick, the blind, cast out demons" and all the things mentioned in the New Testament. He even brought his gun to church to force people to accept Christ. He matured but never lost his passion for the lost.
Keep writing!
My main suggestion would be to add body language. Instead of taglines like he said, use narrative lines like Tim threw his hands in the air. "We need to do more..." Likewise, instead of telling like in this line: Tim was really getting worked up by this time.
Show what that looks like. Perhaps He sprayed spit as he spoke or pounded his fist into his hand or even had some red creep into his face.
You definitely covered the topic. I think you had a clear, powerful message. Often people struggle with the ending, but I think you had a strong ending that left me feeling invigorated. Overall, this was a great read beginning to end.