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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: STIR (11/12/15)
A stirring at the intersection where many worlds collide-

Following the long and winding yellow lined road back to thy lord's castle after a hard day of toil in thy vocational dungeon, thine chariot rolls to a stop at a fork in the road at a scarlet lamp's request.
Resting also In front of thee, is a steel horse with THINE Knight garbed in King
David's son's usual regalia.

Oh!
How for a brief moment, mine eyes close and MY body finds itself hurled onto THAT VERY horse as it gallops joyfully through the fields of amber barley and golden grain!
The wistful wind whipping palpably through MY new freedom found locks!,
up and down, I joust over THINE'S sublime hills.
I drink in THINE'S glorious wine with enraptured glee! Ahhhhhh! with one more deeply inhaled, exhilarating breath!...
...... the impatient chariot driver behind thee calls my body back to thy chariot with the sounding blast of thee's chariot warning trumpet.
I open mine eyes to see that alas, the scarlet lamp hath changed it's mind and ... thine as well.

I wipe a tear of sorrowfully enthralled, ever so briefly requited joy from mine eye and entice thy own lame ,four legged horse driven chariot onward, towards thy domain's castle.

'Tis no wonder King
David's son was considered THEE so wise.
To harken towards more beautifully glorious days ahead.
Riding AND Abiding on the REAL LORD'S LIBERATING LIGHT!

May WE ALL someday bask in the wisdom and glory imparted by
KING DAVID'S SON !
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This article has been read 1242 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Donna Powers
11/19/15
This was powerful. I admit I was a bit thrown off by your use of an apostrophe with the word "Thine", but otherwise I enjoyed it very much
Jody Day 
11/23/15
You have a lovely way with words on this piece, although tense is an issue in places. Good job.
Brenda Rice
11/24/15
You have a wonderful way with words and phrases. I'm not sure I'm the one to critique this.

I did enjoy reading it. Thanks for sharing.
Catherine Craig
11/25/15
It's a pretty entertaining piece. You might watch your descriptors and subject/verb combinations. One example is "wistful wind". Wind cannot be wistful and in "scarlet lamp hath changed it's mind", a lamp cannot change its mind.
Catherine Craig
11/25/15
This is so relevant. The Bible has a lot to say about magic and the occult, and there's no middle ground from God's perspective. Stirring depiction. Thanks!