Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: STAND UP FOR JESUS (don't write about the song) (04/09/15)
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TITLE: Standing on Forgiveness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ashley Rowland
04/16/15 -
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But my glance preferred your horse.
Your loud, arrogant voice accosted
My ears – who invited him?
Yet you were persistent…
In presence
In speech
Until…
I decided to date you for a while,
though you didn't share my faith.
It couldn’t hurt, I thought.
“What do I want from life… what’s important?” you asked me.
God
And someday…
A husband
A child
A home.
Church became a place you wanted to go.
You said you wanted a family … with me … soon.
You showed me where you wanted to marry me –
In a field under a towering oak.
The sun’s rays had never shone brighter.
The grass had never smelled sweeter.
Work didn’t feel like work.
“We can still be friends,” you said one afternoon.
The life I thought was finally within reach vanished.
Pieces here. Bits there.
My broken mind assembled the puzzle –
You never intended to make a home with me.
I was a game to be played.
Alone.
A knife.
Wrists.
My blood would feel so good.
Who would find me?
My mother.
Just like she found her mother.
No.
I couldn’t…wouldn’t do that to her.
My mind’s reel still played conversations over and over.
Torment.
I needed to speak with someone.
I couldn’t.
I needed to be with other people.
I wanted to be alone.
Answers.
My mind demanded answers.
Why did you lie to me?
ANSWER ME
Except there were no answers.
Did you even know why you did it?
I wanted you to suffer.
I wanted you to hurt like I did.
Knowing I shouldn’t feel that way…
Didn’t change anything.
You didn’t deserve my forgiveness.
You did exactly what you intended.
A snap here.
An insult there.
Innocents bore the brunt …
For what you did…
For what I allowed…
Of my anger.
I couldn’t go on that way.
That wasn’t me.
Forgiveness.
It had always come easily for me...
Before.
Then I didn't know how.
But it came one day at a time. One prayer at a time.
I gave the anger and bitterness to the only One who knew…
The One who forgave me first.
Why would I forgive you?
I didn’t deserve His forgiveness.
I rest on Jesus’ forgiveness, so I can stand up for Him…be a light for those like you.
Perhaps you will stand up for Him one day, too.
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Jesus' love and His strength will always provide the sustenance and breath we need in order to live, as you so clearly demonstrated in this powerful piece.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
God bless~
Poetry in motion.