The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/29/15
Excellent message!

God bless~
This is a very good study article. I think you said it well. Greed is not putting God first and not putting ones trust in God's provisions.

Nicely done.
You definitely nailed the topic. You did a great job of describing the different degree of greed and what they can do to a person.

For me personally, it read a bit like a sermon and felt preachy at times. It's possible that may have been your intention, if so you did a nice job. Sometimes, though, it can feel like a lecture and people who really need to hear it may turn away.

A good way to balance the message and being preachy is to share a personal story about a time when greed got the better of you and how God helped you overcome. If you're not comfortable with doing that, you could maybe expand on one of the Bible verses. For example, tell the story of Balaam. Tell it in your own words. Many people won't be familiar with it nor take the time to look it up.

I can feel your passion in your words. Your heart is definitely eager to share the goodness that comes from having Jesus in your life. Your Bible verses were spot on for your message. You have some great points here that just about everyone could relate to in one way or another. It was a well-written cohesive piece.

If you haven't discovered Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards yet, I'd really urge you to check it out and participate. She is great at responding to anyone who posts on the threads or partakes in the "homework." It's a great gem for all levels of writers.
Jam-packed message shared and I thought it was good.

Personally I would have spelled iPhone, iPad, I-Dog to give them the credibility of their registered names.