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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: GREED (avarice, particularly for wealth and things) (01/22/15)
Need of Want

So what is the meaning of greed?
Is it wanting more than we need?
The Bible is quite specific
In stating it is horrific.

Wanting more money is common.
Just why did God bless Solomon?
When asked, wisdom Solomon chose
Why he failed to use it, who knows?

The rich young ruler liked his wealth
Too much for his spiritual health.
Being greedy makes us believe
That we should more and more receive.

We want more, more and a little more
And self control goes out the door.
We may wish for a bigger car,
House, bank account, things near and far.

Eating more than we need is greed.
Maybe the homeless we should feed.
The more we get, the more we want
So our importance we can flaunt.

We think we are number one.
We should know it is God’s Son.
We need to believe God’s the one
From whom all our blessings come.
Anything we think, say and do
For God’s glory should be true.
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This article has been read 452 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
01/29/15
Great job!

God bless~
Larry Whittington
01/30/15
A poem doesn't have to be long
to tell what is wrong.

You stated a lot in this format.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/01/15
This poem does a great job of describing what the topic is about, as well as the only answer to it is turning to God. You make the reader stop and look inward. That's a great thing to be able to do with your words.

I'll admit poetry isn't my strong suit. I think because of the rhythm and rhyming pattern, it sounded a bit light-hearted and fun. Yet when I really study the words I see how devastating greed can be, even to people who have a strong faith or are "good" people. Though, I truly enjoyed the poem, the atmosphere felt a bit light-hearted for a deadly sin. This example might give you an idea of what I mean.
People scramble to get their desires,
While unknowingly,they stoke Hell's fires.

Like I said, I'm not a poet, but wanted to show you one way you could still keep the sequence, but darken the atmosphere just a bit to make sure people realize greed is called a deadly sin for a reason.

I think you did a grand job of covering the topic. Your message was clear and one that we all can relate to in one way or another. I really like your ending. It's the perfect way to end this piece. You're still emphasizing the sin, yet gently leading the reader to the one true solution. You really did a bang-up job on this piece. I'm excited to read more of your work.