The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/12
Beautiful story; the end brought tears to my eyes. I grew up living with my grandmother and my mother so I always got double treatment. :) I look forward to reading more from you. Keep up the good work.

God bless!
10/25/12
Awwww. This made me smile yet left me wistful in a sweet way. I miss my grandmother, and it brought good memories to mind.

I loved it. Thank you.
God Bless
This is a nice story and I believe many people can relate to it.

The main thing I'd recommend is to do more showing and less telling. Paint a picture for the reader with something like. Mom handed me the cup I crinkled my nose and tried to back away from the smell that was assaulting my nostrils. Show the reader that it smelled bad or tasted yucky instead of telling them.

You did a nice job of writing on topic and you delivered a lovely message while doing so. Good job.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level one! (The highest rankings for each level and overall are posted on the message boards)
Hi Pastor Armstrong -

I enjoyed this precious piece and I love how your grandmother got the cooperation of the family.