The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Holiday (04/05/12)
Oh boy, I had done it this time, I had made a D in History! This was a bad mistake in our house. My parents required a C or above. Now, I Loved History! I read the book from cover to cover, I could tell you about every event in it. Why could I not make good grades in it? I kept asking myself and God. Why?

I decided I should go talk to Mr. King, the History teacher. As I waited to see him, I perused all the shelves in the outer office, reading titles, authors, etc., with part of my mind while the other part was wondering what Mr. King would say or do. He could refuse to promote me. That I thought would be enough to make me run away from home. I never would get off restriction!

I observed Mrs. Rock, the secretary as she went over the attendance rolls. I knew that I was pretty close to perfect in attendance for the last month. She glanced up at me, smiled, and laid her pencil down. “Why are you so nervous Grace? You have been in this office a lot of times. Settle down in a chair please.”
“Mrs Rock, I made a D in history. I will be doing extra chores and grounded for a long time. That’s why I'm upset.” I turned to look at her to see what her expression was. She was still smiling.
“It is not the end of the world is it?” she asked. Mrs. Rock always used correct English. Before I could answer her, Mr. King called “Come in, Grace.” I wasn't afraid of Mr. King like a lot of the kids were. I had always found him to be fair and helpful. He was also the Superintendent.

“Now,” He said as he set down behind his desk. “You're here because of your grade in History, Right?”

“Yes, How'd you know?” I asked.

“I know you care, because your parents care.” He said.

“I don't understand. I know all about the story of History.” I started

“That's what's wrong,” Mr King interrupted, He leaned forward, looking me in the eye. “You know the story. You can tell it, even what page it's on. But, You love it too well,You get so interested in the story, you don't remember the dates and names. The rest of the kids just memorize the names dates and titles.. Well, the test answers are dates, names and titles. You are going to have to start memorizing them to pass the tests. Write them down like spelling words and memorize them. Your Father will help you.”

I awoke with a jerk, hitting my elbow on the end table beside the bed. “Ouch!” I hollered as I rubbed my elbow. Why would I dream of school days on the night before my Missions Trip. I was using my 2 weeks Christmas vacation from work to go into the Appalachian Mountains to feed people , teach them about Jesus and take a present for each child; something I had done for the last 5 years and really enjoyed it. There were about 25 members of my Church that went every year. I was too far from all my family to have Christmas with them. After breakfast, as I finished packing, my mind went back to the dream.

Why that dream Lord? Am I supposed to get a message from the story? What! I could hear the Holy Spirit saying..”You know the Bible, but the folks you are teaching might not. Be sure and make a list of the book, chapter and verse you are using, so folks can study them later.”
Yes, I have not been doing that. Yes, I will Make a list of Bible dates and books, Well, not dates so much but chapter and verse are important, not just the story. Thank you for the help Father! Hey, Mr. King said your Father will help you. I thought he meant my Dad, but he didn't did he?

I had the best Christmas of my life; not because I got a lot of presents, but because I won 5 souls to Christ during that 2 weeks. That is the best Christmas present anyone could ever hope for. THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER FOR YOUR GUIDENCE.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 932 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Genia Gilbert
04/14/12
I liked your story. Yes, even D's can be helpful if we learn from them. Glad you woke up and got on with the wonderful Christmas holidays.
C D Swanson 
04/14/12
This was such an uplifting and feel good story. I imagine it is true...if not, it could be.

I loved the reference to "Your Father will help you." Great job with that.

Also, I believe the Lord will speak to us in dreams...guiding us and leading us to what we need to do. He reveals all things to those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Great story...Thank you I really enjoyed this.

God bless you~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
04/14/12
This is a lovely story. It really touched my heart. I bonded immediately with the MC and could picture things as they unfolded.

My only suggestion is to work on some of the technical things such as making a new paragraph every time a new person speaks and getting the punctuation just right, also write out numbers from one to ten (at the very least, some say write out all numbers). It may just be you need a good proofreader to help you pick up those things. I noticed it seemed like you were starting new paragraphs in between people speaking but it wasn't always double spaced. Make sure you hit preview before you hit submit. Another thing you might want to do is instead of using tag lines like she said or he asked, use this spot to describe what the character is doing. For example "Yes, Sir." She tilted her head and stared at the floor. That way it shows she may have been a tad embarrassed or afraid.

Overall, I think this is a brilliant story and will touch many hearts. I'm not sure if it is true that you actually went on a mission trip but I suspect it is. This reads with the same passion I see in my daughter's eyes when she spent her Christmas Holiday on a missions trip. She worried about making up the school work she would miss, too. So if it's not based on real life, you did an outstanding job of tying into the emotions.