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Topic: Empty and Full (06/04/09)
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TITLE: God Does All Things Well | Previous Challenge Entry
By Verna Mull
06/07/09 -
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The winter had been long, gloomy, and hard; even though we had spent the winter in Arizona... Mesa, Arizona was a gorgeous place, with beautiful green palms, cacti, and huge groves of orange, lemon, and grapefruit trees, and even desert daisies were blooming gracefully. Outside our fifth wheel trailer, there was a huge castor bean plant with leaves as large as dinner plates, and, before we headed for home, bunches of beautiful, red castor beans were in abundance. Somehow, this huge castor bean was a great comfort to me that winter, in spite of the emptiness that I felt.
We had buried our 18 year old son in September, and when the crop was in, decided to get away for a while, and headed for Arizona. It was a one car accident that took him from us in only a moment! The ball joint had popped out of the car as he crossed a large pile of gravel that the road grader had left down the center of the road. The rest is history.
Death is traumatic at best; but a sudden death is so hard to comprehend. Oh how thankful we were for the many comforts of God during that loss. We were assured of Vernon’s salvation, and clung to the joys of when we will see him again, but our hearts were still so empty.
We have always trusted that God’s ways are not our ways. We found comfort in that knowledge. Yet, we are parents. Losing him was like tearing the very soul from our bodies!
So, after a long winter of struggle, we were home to the farm, and trying to make a new life. As I said, there seemed to be hope and joy in that day, as I went about doing my errands. Then, it happened! I was approaching the grave yard where our son was buried, and the bottom fell out of my day, and wet, salty tears began to pour from my eyes. I really was pushed for time; but at that moment, the world seemed to stand still. I had to pull into that cemetery, and visit our son!
I pulled up the drive by our son’s grave, and I was nearly convulsing with sobs. I got out of the car, and stood by that cold grave.
I can hardly explain what happened, but suddenly, I felt the emptiness of my heart began to ease. It was almost as if an angel whispered to me, “He is not here, he is with his Savior, smiling down on you, and saying, Mom, please don’t cry for me. I’m so happy here. We will be together again in a short while, and I’ll be here to show you around. I’ll take you to meet Jesus. He’s more wonderful than you can ever imagine. Please be happy for me!”
The empty heart that drove to that grave, stayed at that cold grave that day, and I was filled with a stronger, deeper hope in God’s promises, than I had ever experienced before.
I’ve placed flowers on the grave many times since then; but it has never been the same. Now, I feel a connection that I thought that I had lost. I feel a deeper faith than I ever felt before, and a peace that only God can give. God does all things well!
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