Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Christmas Tree (10/09/08)
-
TITLE: Happy Birthday! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Valarie Sullivan
10/10/08 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Breathing in the crisp, clean air and reveling in the peaceful silence, it puzzled over what purpose it had in life. Why was it not worthy to be firewood or furniture?
The tree watched a fat snowflake float lazily down from the cloudy sky.
***************************************
Rachel watched a snowflake drift down in front her and land on the ground. Good, it was cold enough to stick.
“Dear Lord,” She prayed. “Please let it snow at least three inches!”
They could gather it up, melt it, and have fresh water.
The Stone family had just finished caroling around the neighborhood and now walked the six blocks back home. The oldest son, Billy, had run ahead to get the fireplace going so it would be warm when they got home.
Such a fine young man Billy was turning out to be.
Fifteen years old Megan’s whining broke through Rachel’s musings.
“But why can’t we have a Christmas tree, Dad?” Megan kicked a clump of dirt.
“I’ve told you why.” Tom replied. He shifted Jason’s weight in his arms. Poor little Jason had tired out before they even finished singing to the neighbors.
“Dad, this is the twentieth century!”
“Twenty first.” Rachel absently corrected.
“Same difference.” Megan retorted. “I know we are in the New Great Depression, but why do have to go back to the Old Pioneer Days? I mean, look at this skirt I have to wear now! All the way down to my feet!”
Tom put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Sweetie, your not making this easy for us.”
Chastened, Megan apologized and stayed silent.
They walked down the street in the dark, snow swirling all around them.
“Can I have that kitty?” Jason spoke up suddenly.
“What kitty?” Tom asked.
“The one following us.”
Rachel’s blood turned icy. Coyotes. She peered into the gloom behind them.
There! A shadow weaving in and out of more shadows! Definitely feline. Cougar? No, too small to even be a bobcat.
“It’s a tabby!” Megan exclaimed as a small cat ran up to her and rubbed all over her skirt. She picked it up and it began purring. “Can we keep it?”
“Sure!” Tom consented. He flinched at Rachel’s scathing look. “He can earn his keep by hunting mice.”
“Mice? Yuck!” Megan made a face.
“That’s how he’ll earn his keep.” Rachel put in. “If he falls down on the job, he’s out!”
They continued the journey home. The snow fell softly and silently till it covered their ankles. Rachel pondered the appearance of the cat. Where did it come from? It was obviously well fed. Someone took care of it, before.
A Gift.
Rachel jumped. She had not heard that voice in a long time.
“Thank You, Lord, for the gift.” She prayed quietly. Aloud, she said, “Kids, this cat is a gift from God.”
“Thank You, God!” Megan sighed as she nuzzled the purring animal.
“Isn’t this Jesus’ birthday?” Jason asked from his father’s shoulder.
“Yes, it is.” Tom answered.
“Then why is He giving us a present? Shouldn’t we be giving one to Him?”
Rachel and Tom laughed at his sweetness.
“Yes, son, we should!” Tom gave Jason a hug and winked at Rachel. “We should always love God and do what He says always. That would be a good gift.”
Jason was not satisfied with that, though. He was silent as they walked among the dark houses. They passed a lone hill between rows of buildings. Suddenly, Jason’s piping voice broke the silence. He was singing Happy Birthday!
Rachel listened quietly, wondering whom he was singing to. She stopped and looked up. There on top of the hill, stood a solitary evergreen tree. Snow covered its branches. The clouds broke up enough to allow stars to sparkle between the clumps of snow. Beautiful.
“Megan,” Tom said just as a cloud moved away to reveal one bright star hanging above the tree. “There is your Christmas tree.”
“Happy birthday, dear Jesus,” Jason finished his song. “Happy birthday to You!”
The little family gathered for a group hug and a joyous giggle. The clouds grew close again as they trudged off for home, and it resumed snowing.
********************************
Now the young evergreen knew its purpose. To glorify its Creator. It stood a little straighter and lifted its branches a little higher.
Glory.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
The POV didn't seem totally clear - it took me a long time to figure out that Rachel is the mom. Maybe have Rachel look over at her children in the first sentence or two. I also noticed a "your" instead of "you're". It would be helpful to detail why they can't have a Christmas tree, and make the tree a gift rather than the kitty. :)
Other than those tiny details, your writing is enchanting and you did an excellent job painting the scene. Nice work!
This did leave me with some questions about the setting, and I also wasn't sure how a snowfall could go from one snowflake to covering their ankles, and stop and start again, in only 6 blocks.
So glad they took in the kitty!