The Official Writing Challenge
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Good story - universally adaptable to all of us, I believe. Good job. :)
02/01/08
Great job with illustrating the lesson not once, but twice, and in the hearts of a very tender family.

A quick question--wouldn't the new car be under warranty?

With so many dysfunctional families, it was nice to read about a good one.
02/02/08
Very good story and great lessons to be learned here! Keep up the great work!
Laury
02/04/08
Very good dialogue going on in this story. Except for the little glitch that Jan pointed out, I don't need to use a red pen on this at all. Very good characterizations and you set the scenes well. Right on with the topic, too.
02/05/08
Good way to illustrate waiting for God's best. I noticed a paragraph that seemed a bit "full" and could have been broken up. Also, the transition to the mall was a bit weak. From one beginner to another....keep writing.
02/05/08
You made the list for the Beginner Blessings this week! Congratulations! Here is the link: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17610
I enjoyed this faith-building story.
I guess it depends upon the laws of the state as to how long a used car would be under warranty, but I just took it as being the hazzard of a used car, many of which we have had.
02/06/08
Good use of dialog. That's an area where a lot of writers fall short.

You hit the topic, you created an emotional response, you started well, you ended well.

What more could an entry need?

Other than judging well.
You nailed the topic here. I liked how she was listening to hear His voice, even when the answer was 'no' the ending with the journal entries, that made it come alive for me. I was able to relate to that and your message is very clear. Good job. ^_^
02/06/08
Great ending! Enjoyable read. Keep up the good work!
Loved this story. Stirred up memories to 2002.. we looked at new car, but my hubby and I had no peace. Did not buy it and 2 months later our son totalled our car. He would have totalled our brand new car that we would have been paying payment on. Thanks for this.

This reads like a true story. The dialogue is very realistic. Good job!
02/06/08
I love the thread of trusting the Lord throughout this piece.

Some of the dialog seemed a bit unnatural, but that could just be me.

A wonderful message brought across in so many ways :)
You are quite a story teller. Great job. Proverbs 3: 5-6 is one I rely on daily and as your article points out, it is not always easy. But, in the end, His ways are always the best. Keep writing!
02/06/08
Charming story. I like the happy ending - like that she lost the weight. Whoohoo! I thought your comment about her wondering why God seemed to be taking everything away was on target. Many times we take the short view of things.
02/07/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is a very good example of the proverb.
02/07/08
Congratulations on your EC!!! Way to go!!!
Glad this made it to EC, or I might have missed it. Thanks for the concrete examples of how God works, when we stop and let him. Congrats.
02/08/08
Very impressive, Shirley. Congrats on EC. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. God bless.
02/08/08
Congratulations on your EC placing with this excellent article. Looking forward to more from you.
***Congratulations, Shirley!***
Love it! :) Congrats! Cat