Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)
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TITLE: Billy the Kid | Previous Challenge Entry
By Yvonne Blake
10/26/07 -
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“Mrs. Blake? We have a visitor for your class today.”
“Hello. What’s your name?”
“Billy. I’m this many.”
“Four years old? I’m glad you came to Sunday school. Why don’t you sit next to Sarah? No, don’t stand on the chair. Turn around and look at me. No, Sarah doesn’t want you to poke her in the face.”
“Where’s my mommy?”
“She is upstairs listening to Pastor Mason.”
“When’s she coming back?”
“When Sunday school is all done. Let’s sing our butterfly song. Everyone stand up and do the motions. Be careful, Billy! Don’t hit Timmy with your arms.”
“That was fun. Can we do it again?”
“Maybe later. I have a story to tell you… Long, long ago, before there were people, before there were animals, before…”
“Before dinosaurs? I like dinosaurs. ARGGH!”
“Yes, even before dinosaurs, there was God.”
“My daddy says “God” all the time, when he’s mad.”
“Billy, shhhh…Listen to the story…God is so big and powerful that he made everything by just speaking. He said, ‘Let there be light’, and there was light! (KJV) He made the earth and the water and it was good. Can everyone say, ‘It was good.’?”
“I can say it. IT WAS GOOD!”
“That’s right, Billy. Look at this picture… No, sit down on your chair, so the other kids can see, too.”
“I see some apples. Right there…see?”
“You’re right, Billy. Now, sit down…God made the trees and the grass and the flowers, and ‘it… was…”
“GOOD!... Can we eat something, like apples? I’m hungry!”
“Later... after this story. Now, sit down and listen… God made the sun and moon and stars, and ‘it… was…”
“GOOD!”
“That’s right! God also made the fish and the birds…
“Look! There’s a shark! I want to hold the picture.”
“OK…turn it around, so the others can see it… Hold it still… God made all the fish and birds, and it… was…”
“GOOD!”
“OK, Billy, sit down with the rest of the kids… Then God made all the animals.”
“I don’t see any dinosaurs. Did God make the dinosaurs?”
“Yes, but this picture just doesn’t show any. God made the elephants and the lions and the dogs and the raccoons…”
“I see some hippomintpossomusses.’
“Really?… God made all the animals, and ‘it… was…”
“GOOD!”
“Next, God made a man. He made him special. God didn’t just speak; He carefully formed the man with his hands, and breathed His life into him.”
“Like this? Whoooooooooo!”
“Yes, something like that. Then when God was done, He saw everything thing that He had made, and it was VERY good.”
“IT WAS EXCELLENT!”
“Let’s sing our butterfly song again. We are not animals. God made us special. He loves us and wants us to love Him.”
“I can’t see God.”
“No, but you can see what He made.”
“Then how can we love Him, if we can’t give Him a hug?”
“We can love Him by believing and obeying His word, the Bible…Let’s color a picture of what God made… Amy, will you give everyone a paper?”
“I want to help!”
“Billy, you can share these crayons with Timmy.”
“I want that green crayon. Gimme it!”
“Billy, Timmy had that crayon. Find another green crayon…. Sarah,is that a flower? That looks like a fish, Timmy. What is yours, Amy?”
“Teacher,I’m making a dinosaur!”
“I can see that, Billy.”
“I’m going to make lots of dinosaurs… Teacher? Teacher? Did God make lots of dinosaurs?”
“Yes, He did. He made all the animals. Would you like an animal cracker and some juice?”
“Mmmm! I’m a dinosaur. I’m going to bite off the camel’s head! ARGGH!”
“Can everyone say the verse with me? ‘And God saw that it… was…good.”
“It was EXCELLENT!”
“Good job! Let’s pick up the crayons and cups. Don’t forget your papers.”
“Mommy! Look at my picture. Did you know that God made excellent dinosaurs? I like Sunday school. Can we do it again?”
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Laury
A few suggestions--an extra space (hit "enter") between each paragraph, to help your readers' eyes. And all-dialogue pieces are sometimes hard to follow. Adding a few dialogue tags or narrative sentences here and there give your reader a fuller picture of what's happening.
I would've love to see spaces between each paragraph.
This was so real and well written. I'm remembering now why I enjoy being a praise leader instead of the one who teaches the lessons! :)
I can tell you have taught children. The dialogue was perfect. Great job!
Congratulations on the EC!
Great job showing us Billy and his actions through the dialog. You kept things snapping right along, just like Billy. (LoL) Great job. :-) Hugs!!
God bless and kep writing.