The Official Writing Challenge
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02/23/07
Lovely - I liked the voice very much, and it was an enlightening read!
If I were to make one tiny criticism (and I mean tiny) it would be that you tended to over-use one or two words/ phrases - toning, cardiovascular workout. It would be worth having a look to see if you can substitute synonyms or circumlocute in some way (eg - gets those upper arm muscles in good shape). Good piece, and I hope you do well with it.
02/23/07
Lovely - I liked the voice very much, and it was an enlightening read!
If I were to make one tiny criticism (and I mean tiny) it would be that you tended to over-use one or two words/ phrases - toning, cardiovascular workout. It would be worth having a look to see if you can substitute synonyms or circumlocute in some way (eg - gets those upper arm muscles in good shape). Good piece, and I hope you do well with it.
Great story, and you did such a good job with the cowpoke voice. Watch sentence fragments. One example is "While the horses are eating grain." A comma would work there better, connecting it to the next sentence. Keep up the good work. Your creativity will take you places.
Been there. Done that. Understand it! Great job! thanks
02/24/07
I enjoyed this time with the cowgirl. Watch the sentence fragments, but overall, a great job. I really liked the voice and felt like I was there.
02/24/07
That was a fun read--exhausted me just reading it! ;-)
02/24/07
This is a very unique take on the topic! As others have said, be careful of sentence fragments. Use commas to very the sentence structure so you don't have too many short sentences in a row. Also, try to find synonyms for some of the phrases like cardio-vascular workout. Try something like "It'll really get your heart a' pumpin'!" Something a bit more.... "cowgirlish." lol Great job overall though, and keep writing!
Whew! What a workout. ;0) I agree you might want to watch your sentence fragments, but overall, this is a *very* creative and fun read.
02/25/07
Definitely gave me a real feel for that cowgirl workout! Glad I'm a town girl (LOL I think!). Watch your fragments, but this was a great read.
02/25/07
Good job with the unique voice here.
02/26/07
This was unique. The title drew me in. I was plum tuckered out, followin' you 'round all day. It seemed like we'd put in a full day, but you said it was only noon. I'd be lookin' for the nearest closet to hide in. Indeed, who needs a fitness routine in this alternate universe? This is how our ancestors kept thin...and this is why I DON'T! Thanks for this reminder to cut through the silliness of modern day health clubs. (I drive around the parking lot at my health club, trying to find a space as close as I can to the building so that I can go inside and exercise on a machine that goes nowhere. I ought to just make myself a HUGE hampster ball and be done with it!)
02/26/07
Wow! What an exhausting routine! I'm a city girl so I had no idea that being a cowgirl takes so much work. Thanks for describing it so well
03/01/07
My daughter goes through this routine daily, has biceps that would put many men to shame and is very fit and strong - she certainly can outdo her mum, that's for sure!

Thanks for putting us all through it! I feel better now.
04/02/07
I LOVE this! I'm so glad you threw the brick to show the way. I have a feeling you are on the verge of moving up in this next quarter. Your creativity and perseverence shines, keep it up!!!
I'm tired! And, no, you don't need a fitness routine. He He