The Official Writing Challenge
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WOW! What a story! You do give it life by using the conversational style. I can just see the men meeting and sharing this tale. They are wearing working boots and leaning on trucks! It would be an interesting project to extend, and characterise the men involved. Well told.
Wonderful story! You moved it right along with the homey dialogue, too.

Watch for dialogue tags ('he said, she said')such as:
“That’s right Bill,” replied Bob leaning over the hood of his work truck with ‘Zoe Electric’ painted on its side." I'd restructure this and a few other places for shorter sentences with no tags. You have the right idea, showing Bob's action.
Perhaps something like: "Bob leaned over the hood of his "Zoe Electric" work truck. "That's right."

I'm curious--Did this heavenly visit actually happened to someone you know? Thanks again for this inspiring entry!