The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1964 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I love the motherly manipulation...I think every mother has done something of the sort. I certainly have. The ending is beautiful! Your title is awesome. I had to read it.

The beginning was a little rough, the "wailing whine, clawing hands and foreseen disaster," were a little too much. The garage "mallet" was a little jarring for me, too. (Do most people have mallets? This may be a culture difference.)

Great message. :-)
05/26/06
I like the title (not sure how it fits.) Interesting comparision between girl-hoold and teen-hood. And it does touch the topic at the end. Could have incorporated the topic a bit stronger in the beginning showing it as a joy instead of a "manipulation technique." A fun story though.
Very cute story! I agree that it needs a tad work at the beginning, but overall quite good.
great, great, great. I'm really enjoying seeing more true to life pieces being created for FW. I really enjoyed this story, it was entertaining, fun well written and carried a heavy, 'right on' message. I also loved the way that you wrote. You wrote in pictures and drew the readers in. One sentance "My three year old wet eyes looked up at me..." was a little off (i think you forgot an "s") Bbut I really enjoyed the rest and all in all-a very good, strong piece. Worthy to be titled "master." Great work.
oh, and I loved the beginning. I thought the drastic "sinister" approach really drew me in and delievered a very humerous result.
05/28/06
I enjoyed the end too. The whole piece was good.
05/28/06
I found the first paragraph somewhat severe, but the rest
of the story was a great read. I love the age when the little girl becomes a teen princess! Great job!
05/29/06
I can't tell you how much I loved the ending of this! Okay, yes I can: I loved it immensely!
05/29/06
Great story! I understand the beginning (having a four year old who still likes to throw tantrums) and the need for manipulation. Well-written!
05/30/06
Well I quite enjoyed this whole thing. As the mother who is now known amongst all the kids' friends for her "strict" rule of "No smiling, no laughing and NO having fun" - this was delightful to read.

And that last little paragraph - I want that cross-stitched on a pillow, please! Wonderful writing!
Well written story. I enjoyed the read. Good job.
This was really good. I loved the descriptions of the daughter in each time frame. I especially liked the way you ended it.