The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
11/21/05
The thrid paragraph, about the mother's death and the garage floor, seems to need some explanation. Perhaps you could have used some more words to flesh that out some? I was interested enough to want more.
11/21/05
Amen, he sure does. Your story was very nice, but I feel as though it was a little bit empty in spots. A little more to fill in, and round out. Nicely done. God bless ya, littlelight
11/23/05
I think the empty spacing and slight convolution added to the problems here. A good start keep working.
12/11/05
I took the death of the mother and the cold garage floor as memories of, perhaps her childhood, when things not only got cold, but things got tough with sorrow and loss.

A few words needed an "s" or a different word, but otherwise a view of Winter from all perspectives. Kept to the subject, and you could feel the "brrrr...cold!" God Bless.
12/12/05
Your Comments and Encouragements are Appreciated. ( :

Thanks for taking the time.
God’s Blessing with Love, Helen