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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)
I stare at my checklist,
The day’s almost past,
The agenda I thought to accomplish
Somehow…was forgotten.

I set out this morning
So confident and sure,
But the goals I had in mind to fulfill
Somehow…were forgotten.

I started out strong,
I wouldn’t say that I failed,
Things just came up that happened
To be… more important.

I can’t help that I’m busy,
Really, it’s not my fault!
The rigmarole of life is demanding,
Can’t you see…my reasoning?

I’m not trying to make excuses,
I own up to my flaws,
This relationship just entails more
Than I was prepared…to sacrifice.

I know He wants a friendship,
It’s difficult to squeeze Him in,
Time is of the essence, I guess
I just don’t see…His worth.

Do you?

Sigh. Conviction starts to set in,
I wish I could dismiss it,
I neglected to seek His face today,
To read His word…even to pray.

I didn’t stop to give Him thanks
Or share His kindness with my neighbor,
My mind was set on earthly things-
Perhaps…I love this world.

I sit here starring at my checklist,
At empty boxes unfulfilled,
When I hear a silent whisper speaking,
I listen closer…the voice is His.

Gently His presence warms my soul,
The fear and shame quickly fade,
The duty’s I had ascribed to perform
Appear…so inconsequential.

“My child, believe I love you,
This will never change,
Whether you acknowledge Me or not
My love…it always remains.

Although it grieves Me much
That you do not turn My way,
At the day’s end the only question is
Child, did you choose…love?

Do you?”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
01/10/14
As a Level 1 writer, you might not be aware of the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons. I’d love to have your input into the conversation there!
C D Swanson 
01/10/14
Very interesting poem, with a lot of messages throughout the entire piece which brought forth a powerful end.

Nicely done.

God bless~
Jan Ackerson
01/11/14
Your message is appreciated and needed, and I like your interesting structure.

This read more like prose than poetry in some parts, and I think it'd benefit from the addition of some poetic language: some metaphor, some sensory imagery, maybe some alliteration or some other device of sound.

You're obviously a talented poet, and it'll be good to see what you do in future challenges.
Larry Whittington
01/11/14
I tried to send you a private comment but an error came up so I couldn't.

For the second part of your poem, I would suggest to readers to think about praying at every turn of the day, praying about each person or event that comes along. Even silently thanking God for each event as they come brings us into fellowship/friendship with Jesus.

A poem is a good form for bringing soul searching to a person and good teaching of God's word.
Sheldon Bass 
01/14/14
Yes, all the law and all the prophets are built on the royal law of love. Nice piece. Keep writing!
Dusty Fontaine
01/15/14
I like poetry that makes the reader think. Asking the question, "Do you?" makes the reader consider their actions.

Free verse poetry is a great way to tell a touching story or get a powerful message across. You did both.

We all have a problem with being too busy for God sometimes. But, we need to remember, He is never too busy for us. Thanks for sharing this.
Amelia Brown 
01/16/14
Your message rings through. We do tend to squeeze God on the bottom of our to-do-list, though sometimes not intentionally. Thanks for the reminder. It was also written to topic. Keep writing.