The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/13
wow - I've read this a couple of times. It took on different meanings each time I read it. The first part I thought it was being baptized and the old man becomes new again. But, then reading it a second time I thought of other things.

To be with Christ is life eternal, to be with Christ while in the flesh is life. So I was wondering where you were going a couple of times, however...it was written quite well.
Your descriptive settings and overall content were well done.

Interesting piece with a multi-layered meaning.

God bless~
11/02/13
This pulled me right in. Good job of conveying the feeling, frustration and searching of the human heart. In places, I feel it was a little too abstract—a Picasso in literary form.

Something that might help, is to reveal how that, what is sought, this life through the Shepherd, is received by faith rather than by feelings. And that though still housed in the flesh, we can have a choice: To walk in the Spirit's power or to follow the flesh.

You have a remarkable way with words and I hope to see more of your work. Keep writing.
11/04/13
This is a very deep article; very poetic too. I had trouble trying to determine which aspect was literary and which was figurative though. I was drawn into the deep pain of the narrator; the inner conflict was clear. Keep writing.
Congratulations on placing 7th! (the highest rankings can be found on the message boards)