The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a life situation story. Many people are talked into believing in Jesus, sometimes in their youthful years.

As adults some will see how they also need to have their sins forgiven by being baptized. It is at this time that they will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Acts 2:38. It is at this time they become a child of God and have his Spirit as proof.

It is a good story that will help each of us to look at our own lives to make sure we are working out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
This is good. Heartbreakingly so . . .
This is a good story on a missed opportunity. Heartfelt.
This is a powerful story. You did a nice job of showing the conflict and pulling the reader into the story.

For me, some of the dialog didn't feel natural. For example, your opening line felt a bit stilted. Though this may not be perfect, this is just an example to show you how I might try to make it more natural.“I'm no theologian,but I just can't wrap my brain around that. You might be right, but I need proof."
Just little things like using contractions like I'm instead of I am can make a huge difference.

Though your ending was a bit predictable, you did a fabulous job of pacing and building the suspense. The message is a powerful one, and one we can all relate to and need reminding of from time to time. Your characters were well developed and I found myself being pulled into the story. Good job!
09/23/13
During the break in the Weekly Challenge schedule, I’d like to invite you to the FaithWriters forums, where I’m holding a weekly free “class” in various writing strategies. Participation is strictly voluntary, but I give free and timely feedback on all contributions. I’d love to have you drop by! http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67