The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Overall I like the idea of this piece, but I found it hard to read because of the formatting. Putting a little space between the paragraphs can help the eye move through it better. Keep up the good work!
Good Story. Got lost in the second paragraph, but found myself again. One of the sentences didn't sound right.
Get a good proofer and keep writing!
Tell me more . . .

Throw a Brick for CLICK
I really enjoyed this intimate peek into Jimmy's relationship with God. It is one we all dream of having, but like Jimmy at times can be a tad stubborn!

I wasn't sure what the clicks were. I thought maybe he was unlocking doors as he made his rounds. Make sure you start a new paragraph each time someone different speaks and if you double space them it makes it easier on the reader to have that white space.

All in all I think you did a nice job of showing what a personal relationship with Jesus can be like. I really thought the prayers were powerful and enjoy it when a writer includes the prayer to show a reader who may not know how to pray, that it is much like talking to your best friend. Good job!