The Official Writing Challenge
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I really like this story. Imaginative and playful! Cute title. Good job.
I think this is a great story. You immediately drew me in with the MC's irritation. I think it is something we can all relate too.

Out of all the criteria that the judges use, I think this story might come up weakest on topic. Though you mention sneezing, if you took that line out, it wouldn't change your story any. A good way to guess if you're on topic is to take out any parts referring to the topic, if once they are taken out, your story doesn't make sense then you know you are on topic.

I do think you will score well in many of the other criteria. Your beginning drew me in. It is creative and well written. The ending is superb and the message is strong and comes out without sounding preachy. This is a wonderful reminder of how we turn little things into big ones, while around us real problems are literally exploding all over. Excellent job.
05/07/13
I can SO RELATE! Because of this fact, I really enjoyed your article as life and God puts our little annoyances in perspective. Great story - thanks for sharing.