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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Key (02/14/13)

TITLE: My Precious Valuable Stones
By clarissa aguilera
02/21/13


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One evening during Friday night service, this woman came up to me and greeted me with a smile. My radar right away detected something wasn’t right, this woman is going through something. When she shook my hand, it was almost as if the unhappiness that she carried was directly injected right in to me… touching my heart and allowing me to feel her pain. I felt something quite amazing shoot straight through my body and every fiber of my being, filling my heart rapidly with excessive grief. “It was heavy, Janet.” this was not any ordinary hand shake.

Though this woman greeted me with a smile, “I sensed this woman was burdened, heavy laden with sorrow.”

That scripture hit me, INSTANTLY! (LUKE 8: 44) NIV She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

I felt a strong desire to try and comfort this woman. “I wasn’t sure what I was going to say?” As I bent down after service to grab my water I turned around and there she was… smiling at me.

“Hi, how are you she said?”

We quickly got into conversation. I replied… “Good, good, shaking my head.”

Then, I asked, how are you?

“Good.” She replied.

“How is your son?”

At that moment I noticed her whole facial expression, body language changed, dramatically. This woman needed somebody to talk to. Tears trickled down her face one right after the other, as I mentioned her son Raymond.

At that very moment my heart was filled with compassion for this woman. She whispered under her breath, he’s busted again.

With all the people that attend church I apologized to her and said… “I sorry, what was your name again.

“Dora...”

“Dora, that’s a good thing.” With a puzzled look on her face not understanding why I would say such a thing, she said, he’s busted again, as if I didn’t hear her, the first time.

I grab her from the hand and said sweetie; let me explain something to you. “I asked her if she was familiar with the story in the bible of “Jesus and the rich man” I explained, to her it’s a little something like that.

“Jesus was walking down this road with a rich man. The rich man proud and too busy into his conversation to even recognize it was Jesus he was talking to. The rich man went on, and on, boasting to Jesus about all his possessions that he had owned all his diamonds rings, rubies, gold and silver, all the riches, and wealth he possessed in the entire world. He said … you know I’m a very rich man; I kept all my possessions in a safe, said the rich man. Jesus quietly listing to the rich man, as he rambles on Jesus stopped in the middle of the road, and said, “I too, have my most prized possessions, “my precious stones” and I call them…”they too are very valuable to me as well said Jesus. “I, too, place them under lock and key, safe and away from the thieves and, the robbers. The one who comes to rob, steel, kill and destroy.” Jesus went on to say, I must pluck them every now and then, out of this worldly life, for only God knows the evil that lurks around the corner just awaiting them, had I not! The rich man puzzled? I place them in a solitary confinement, safe until danger has passed. (JOHN 10:10) NIV The thief comes only to steel and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The woman looking a little dazed, confuse by my story, “I explained to her, that we are considered God’s precious stones in the bible. Her son was one of the few that were chosen who was rescued by the angels of God, on that very day.

Therefore God places his most precious valuables, in a (safe) place we all know as jail.

Dora was loss for words, amazed, but with a sigh of relief. With a twinkle in her eye, Dora was healed in the name of Jesus! Her face shined, and “lit up like a Christmas tree.”

It was almost as if I felt that very same power leave me. “Janet, it was… beautiful. (LUKE 8:46) NIV but Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.”


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Member Comments
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CD Swanson 02/23/13
Very interesting explanation for the Biblical reference. And, a very well written story. Nicely told, and nicely done.

God bless~
Richard Hicks02/23/13
Very moving and special story. Keep writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/25/13
I really like the idea behind your story. I found it a clever way to look at the bright side.

You seem to have some problems with the punctuation rules. I'd recommend investing in a good book like Strunk's Element of Style. It was a bit hard to figure out who was speaking. You may want to include some action with the dialog for example: I patted her hand. "I'm sorry, what was your name?" That would show the reader who is speaking while giving insight to the fact that she was trying to comfort her by patting her hand.

I really like how this piece made me stop and think. How often do parents feel a sense of relief because their children are in prison and are likely to be safer in there than out doing what they were before. This would be a great story to polish up and use for the Prison Ministry.