The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/23/13
Just the title of the story, "He Probably Saw Our Shoes!" drew me in to want to read the piece.

How we live and act as Christians tells more about us than what we say.

I could see this as a script for a Christian movie.
02/23/13
This was a clever and interesting read. Nicely done, I imagine the boys will develop a nice relationship with their 90 yr old neighbor and mostly with Jesus.

God bless~
02/25/13
A great title. I was drawn into the story from the start. The dialogue portrayed the character of the speakers and the story had pace.
I really enjoyed it.
02/25/13
Good catchy title! I thoroughly enjoyed the tale of these two boy's adventures.
I love this tale of the mischievous boys and the kind old man. You really grabbed my attention right away. The opening paragraph created a great setting for the story.

I did notice some tiny errors like this like: Rudy replied, “My question is, what does he buy at the store every day?” rolling his eyes.
Instead of breaking the action up in two parts and splitting the sentence, you could just say Rudy rolled his eyes. That shows the reader who is speaking and that he is mocking his friend just a bit. I also noticed in this line it felt like it was backwards and would flow better like this: "Mom says he lives alone." It feels more natural to have the Mom says part first.

I think you did a splendid job of writing on topic. I found this a delightful story and would be great for a Sunday School take home sheet or lesson. You show so much without coming off as preachy. The ending was divine(literally:))
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level one!