The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/13
This was so entertaining and informative. NIcely done wiht a little bit of levity thrown in too! I enjoyed this entire piece. Thank you.
God bless~
I really enjoyed this object lesson. I think you did a fine job of selecting the Scriptures that backed up your message. Your characters felt real and the dialogue natural.

I did notice that about halfway through, you switch tenses. You had started off with the past and then in the middle you switch to the present.

You definitely cover the topic quite thoroughly. I think it was a clever take on the topic and it was fresh and interesting. Good job.
The title captured my attention. It is not necessary to repeat the title in the body of the story and by eliminating it, you will have more word count available to use. This is a well written devotional.
02/25/13
At first I thought you were telling a story, and it seemed preachy. Then I realized that it was a devotional with characters just like us to make the point more accessible to the reader. I liked that approach to sharing a lesson.
02/28/13
I loved the message and the central theme. You painted a picture with your lively characters very well.
Congratulations on ranking 9th in level one! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards for the top 8 to 15 in each level and the top 35 overall.)