The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/15/13
This is excellent. The title works well I think. I love the image you provide of all the notes on the fridge. My favorite moment is when he replaces them with new notes. When you mentioned the pictures at the end, it reminded me of the movie UP. You did such a nice job of writing to the theme. Interestingly, your repetition of "she did die" reminds me of Genesis, and the repetition of that phrase (possibly to show the reality of the curse.) Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully and tenderly told. You have written a story worthy of reading and remembering.
02/16/13
The notes on the fridge were a creative use of the theme, but my favorite part was the image of time as gold flakes. You did a wonderful job of carrying that image through to the end.

The story could have used a little more editing. For example, the first sentence in the second (or does it count as the third) paragraph shouldn't have the word "sat."

Overall, I think your story had so many themes - death, love, priorities. It was well done.
Wow! What a beautiful gift you have. I've read several post it notes this week but none packed a punch like this one did.

The only red ink I might offer would be the line were he sat on the floor and broke his heart. I knew what you were trying to say but it made me picture someone tearing up a valentine. Even instead of saying he felt his heart brag, this would be a great chance to get in the MC's head. Perhaps his legs give out as he slumps to the floor resisting the urge to lie on his belly, kick his feet and scream.

Other than that one tiny spot I thought the story was sensational. You did a superb job of allowing the reader feel the pain. My heart ached for both of them and the ending wasn't a miracle cure but seeing the change in the characters made me feel like I was right there with them, You have a beautiful gift and God will use you to touch many hearts.
02/17/13
What a beautifully written story about spending time with your love one instead of worrying about all of the small stuff.

I cried thinking of all the time I have spent worrying about the small stuff.

You are a very talented writer.
02/18/13
This was so touching and rendered my heart in two. What a powerful read. Thank you for this prolific heartwrenching story.

God bless~
02/19/13
Your story touched me to the very core. I think you used this week's topic very well. It was nice that the husband was able to help her to remember the important things in life.
This leaves me breathless . . .
Congratulations for placing 7th in your level!