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Topic: Note (02/07/13)
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TITLE: Two Dollars - Who'll Give Me Three? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dan Wilson
02/10/13 -
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“It can’t get any hotter or more humid,” David mumbled as he shoved the lawn mower across the last bit of green grass. He killed the lawn mower motor and looked through his sweat covered glasses at his wrist watch. The mixture of sweat, tiny green particles and black dust on the lenses were distorting his vision. He took his glasses off to see what time it was – only 4:30 p.m. He had another thirty minutes to work. David took the wet handkerchief out of his back pocket and began to wipe the lenses while looking for the garden hose. Spotting the green hose he walked over, turned on the faucet and took short sips of cool water. After drinking he soaked his hair, face and T-shirt and it felt so refreshing.
It had only been five weeks since he graduated from high school at the age of seventeen. Three days after graduation he and his parents drove six hundred miles to the southern metropolitan city where the Bible College was located. He had been reared on a farm in Illinois with his three younger sisters and younger brother. David’s dad was a deacon in their small church and his mother taught a Sunday school class. He had accepted Jesus Christ as his Saviour only eighteen months before he left for college.
His faith in God was being challenged by all of the significant changes he was experiencing: living in this huge city, sharing a dorm room with someone four years older than himself, doing his own laundry, laboring six hours a day – six days a week in the school’s work scholarship program, meeting new people, attending a church sixty times bigger than his home church, eating unfamiliar food in the dining hall, attending classes from 7:30 a.m. until noon, mounds of homework and being away from his family for the first time.
After every Wednesday chapel service he, along with several hundred other students, would rush over to the school’s post office to check his mailbox. David’s mom would write him a letter every week and it would usually arrive on Wednesday. The multiple pages kept him up-to-date with all of the family, church and local news. And with every letter, she would include two one-dollar bills. He could do his laundry for thirty-five cents. He would put his tithe in the offering plate every Sunday and save the remainder to buy laundry soap, toothpaste, deodorant, or razor blades when necessary. He was learning to live by faith and it was difficult for him.
After David had turned off the water faucet he went over and sat down under the large oak tree in the front yard. He had just finished mowing his sixth yard and needed a break. Sitting there, David bowed his head and prayed, “Heavenly Father, you know I have this special need this week. I could use an extra dollar from Mom and Dad this week. I trust You to provide for my need, I don’t have any other way of meeting this need. In Jesus’ name Amen.” Could he really trust God to answer his prayer?
Five days went by; it was Wednesday, letter day. As usual David rushed out the church auditorium and headed straight for the post office. “Is God going to answer my prayer?” he thought as he stumbled through the box combination. Sure enough there was a letter from home. Hurriedly he went outside and sat down on the concrete bench. He put his books down beside him and nervously ripped open the white envelope. He unfolded the letter and tucked inside was one one-dollar bill, he picked it up and a second one-dollar bill appeared. With his hand shaking uncontrollably, he removed the second dollar bill and there was a third one-dollar bill. God had given him exactly what he asked for. As the summer session progressed the weekly letters from home kept coming with two one-dollar bills. That was the only week David’s mom sent three one-dollar bills and she never knew about his special prayer request to God. This is a true story – you see, my name is not David but I did ask God for the extra dollar.
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Very good message. You might want to include more showing and less telling in the middle paragraphs.
The only thing I might suggest would be to leave some of the back story out so you could focus on the conflict. Though you painted a nice picture, the fact that he was in a big city and what not didn't matter as much in this story. I wanted to know what happened that he needed the extra dollar that week. I think it would have really helped the reader to know the MC if you had shown the need for the money, then his hustling by mowing grass to try and earn and then the best part of the story, the prayer.
I had an inkling that this was a true story. Sometimes it's hard to sort out what's important to include in a true story because all of it is important to you. I think you have a wonderful knack for storytelling. I found myself rooting for the MC and became totally immersed in his conflict. The ending was fantastic. You had an excellent example of how God watches out for us, even in what some might call a coincidence, we who know the truth are blessed by his glory. Your story blessed me immensely. You truly did a fantastic job.
God bless~