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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Irritated (11/08/12)

TITLE: Prayer Will Get Us Through
By Jeanette Oestermyer
11/15/12


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“Why is my Mom always saying she is stressed out by my constant questions about life and what I might expect as I get older?” Asked twelve-year old Lola from her favorite teacher at her middle school. It seems everything I do or say causes her to be stressed out.

That evening Lola also asked her 16-year old sister, Jenna, the same question. “She doesn’t seem to have the same problem with you, does she? At least I have never heard her complain about you causing her to be stressed. Would you listen to her sometime when I have been talking to her or asking if I can do something.” Lola was serious about this problem and her faciel expression verified she wanted to get an answer from Jenna.

The next day Genna made sure she would try to hear what their mother was saying about Lola when she was talking to her. She could tell why Lola was concerned about Mom being so upset. Then Genna went to Lola and had a talk with her about what they could do when Mom was stressed with Lola’s questions and asking for favors.

Genna told Lola they both should ask Mom if she would like them to pray with her when she felt stressed. Lola agreed and also suggested that Mom might talk with the Pastor at their church and he would consider when she felt stressed she should pray and ask her children to pray with her.

Mom agreed and decided to go to the church that day if Pastor was available. She also asked Lola and Genna to accompany her and be anxious to learn what it is that makes her get stressed out by either of them.

“Oh great,” said Lola, “I just know Pastor will know exactly what we can do when Mom is stressed.”

The next day, Mom, Lola and Genna went to their church and meant with their Pastor. He told them not to be wanting to do something or to go somewhere they just knew Mom would not approve of. He also told them to help Mom in any way they could with some tasks around the house and possibly all of them could have more fun together.

From that day forward, the whole family was blessed by enjoying more time together even if it was simple discussions about how to make each day more enjoyable for all.


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Member Date
Dan Blankenship 11/16/12
Just a couple of things I noticed: Genna and Jenna - the beginning letter changed in the story.

And this sentence should have had a question mark at the end: "Would you listen to her sometime when I have been talking to her or asking if I can do something.”

I often need an editor for my work, as I make quite a few errors, too.

Other than that, a nice story. :-)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/18/12
This is a sweet story. It is true that parents can become stressed out by questions and other things.

I noticed Jenna switched to Genna. Also try to make your dialog sound a bit more natural. For example the first sentence doesn't quite sound like something a 12 yo might say. Try loosening it up some perhaps like this; "Why does Mom always freak out when I ask her a question?"

I liked the way the sisters worked together to try and find a solution for this problem. They received some good advice. Keep writing!