The Official Writing Challenge
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I really enjoyed this piece. You made so many good points. If children don't receive proper nurturing, they will tend to rebel and act out. This is a message to every parent, teacher or any adult who has contact with kids. They need boundaries, good examples and unconditional love.

I did notice in the beginning the story was in the present tense and then midway switched to the past. I also noticed you said me and my friend and then her and I. A good way to check for the proper pronoun is to take out the and blank part. For example you wouldn't say Me attended or her attend. I thought the quotation marks around the her and I part maybe signaled that you meant to use the pronoun incorrectly. A good challenge buddy might help you catch some of those errors. If you can't find one on the message boards and you're interested feel free to PM me.

The ending was fantastic. I often can spot twists coming a mile off but when taken by surprised I'm thrilled. Your story thrilled me. I truly enjoyed it from beginning to end as I felt the empathy rush out of me and envelop the MC with Jesus' love and grace.
11/10/12
I loved the ending...God bless and thanks for sharing...
11/14/12
I REALLY liked the story in this piece. I like the way you tell it--it reminds me of a LeCrae song that starts out with him praying for a brother--at the end of the song, he reveals that he is the brother he's praying for. That's a powerful truth worth sharing.

You put your words together very well--but (please don't take this the wrong way and stop writing because of it), I think you would benefit from having someone proofread for you and catch your grammar mistakes. Mechanics and grammar simply help us readers decode the message better, so honing up in those areas can only make your message stronger.

I think your MC is a very interesting person--a little salt in an often flavorless world.
11/14/12
What a great twist at the end of this interesting story! :) I was inspired by the obvious love and passion for the Lord this woman has, and I appreciate the message that we can't judge someone's heart simply by the clothes they wear. Good job! :)