The Official Writing Challenge
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You told this story very well. It had adequate dialogue in it and it read smoothly throughout. You need to make sure that when you are referring to any of the Trinity that you capitalize He, His, Him, etc. This signifies reverence. It may just have been an oversight on your part. This was well written.
I liked your story and you told it well. There is one suggestion I would like to make, however. When writing about an event that has already occured, you need to use verbs in the past tense rather than making it sound as though it is happening right now, this very moment. Other than that, you did a good job. Would like to see more of your work. Blessings on you.
I really enjoyed this! It kept my interest and was sad and joyous simultaneously. Thanks so much!
I enjoyed this very much:) you used good action tags and characterization to tell this story from another point of view. Good job.

Just a few suggestions:) The tense you use makes this read like a synopsis. It didn't really distract me, but just note that. Also, our word limit is a challenge so leave out putting your title in the body of the entry, it buys you 3 more words. The sentence about 'tentatively entered the holy city' isn't necessary.

Don't miss an opportunity to "show". 'recognizing the dangerous and unstable' is a good place for action instead.

Good job!
Good message here! Nicely done, and nicely told. I enjoyed this so much.

Thank you for this.
God Bless~