The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/23/12
I think you did a good job setting the stage for the "experiment," and I rejoiced to see it had a happy ending. You did an excellent job explaining the reason for the experiment.

However, it would be nice to see a little more "showing" as opposed to "telling" when it comes down to the experiment itself; Perhaps show her lingering by the phone, speaking to the baby, etc. while waiting for the call to say he's coming to join her.

All in all this is an excellent story, and one which I enjoyed very much. I love the title too.

God bless you and keep writing!

02/24/12
Oh what a sweet and happy ending. My kind of story!
This touched me, I am so glad her hubby "moved back home" with her. She had help from "above" with this solution no doubt.

I loved it. Good story telling. God Bless~
This is an interesting story. I'm not sure if it was based on the truth or not. If so I'll never understand men. Somehow they find it easier to just walk away but in this case I'm so glad that it all turned out okay in the end.
02/25/12
When I read your story I thought "That man really needs a new perspective on everything!" What a twisted way of thinking. I'm sure there are people out there who are like that. "Ralph" would be a great character in a novel. Maybe you can use your story as a blue print for a longer story. I think your plot is much bigger than what you could convey here. I like your story. :-)