The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/16/12
Interesting and clever story. Right on topic. And, nicely done. God Bless~
This was different. I found myself giggling a few times.

You did all telling instead of showing but the stilted sentences did add to the point you were making. I noticed a few typos like dinned instead of dined.

This was different but appealing in an odd way. I like how you applied the verse in a fun way. This verse has been quoted a lot this week, but you used it in a fun way.
02/19/12
Love the message!
02/19/12
Fun, amusing, and enjoyable. I'm not sure why the piece was presented with each sentence standing alone. Perhaps this was a style choice and mostly, it worked, but a couple of times I fell out of the piece, wanting a little bit more transistion in between the separated thoughts. (Ironically, I've been criticized for this very same thing--lack of transition).

I thought this was a clever, unique, and fresh take on the topic, and I absolutely loved the play on the MC's name.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level 1!
02/24/12
Very clever and fun to read! Good take-away message.