Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Appointment (02/09/12)
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TITLE: Johnny B. Tardy | Previous Challenge Entry
By PamFord Davis
02/13/12 -
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As a young boy, he over slept repeatedly and the school principal reprimanded him.
The coach gave the star athlete detention because he was late for the state championship game.
Johnny hurriedly slipped into his graduation cap and gown before joining his annoyed class on stage.
The Army recruiter demanded punctuality for Monday’s 7am induction. Traffic detained John.
As a prospect for employment, he had an appointment for 8am sharp. He was positive it was set for nine.
Johnny promised to meet Jill at 6pm for dinner and a movie. She dinned alone.
He reserved the wedding chapel for 2pm. Jill fumed as the organist stalled with three performances of Oh Promise Me while waiting for Johnny to take his place at the altar.
Jill's labor pains were five minutes apart when EMT staff transported her by ambulance to the hospital. Johnny promised to be there in plenty of time. He missed the delivery of John Jr.
The years from cradle to the grave passed much too quickly as Johnny proved: “Time waits for no man.”
The attending physician said Johnny would not live through the night. Family watched and waited …
“He’ll be late for his own funeral!”
The obituary announcement listed 10am for the start of his funeral service. As friends arrived, they found the funeral already in progress with only family present.
People waited for Johnny all of his life. This time they missed the appointed time!
Johnny met with God as scheduled…
“And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment (Hebrews 9:27 NKJ).”
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You did all telling instead of showing but the stilted sentences did add to the point you were making. I noticed a few typos like dinned instead of dined.
This was different but appealing in an odd way. I like how you applied the verse in a fun way. This verse has been quoted a lot this week, but you used it in a fun way.
I thought this was a clever, unique, and fresh take on the topic, and I absolutely loved the play on the MC's name.