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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)

TITLE: Home
By Cassie Memmer
10/06/05


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“Honey, I’m home,” he announced as he came into their living quarters. “Mmm, the
place sure smells good!”

“Yes,” she said, as she happily greeted him wih a soft caress, “the rain we had in the
wee hours this morning certainly seemed to have cleansed the air. How was your
day?”

“Fine,” he sighed. “We worked hard today, amassing the usual, putting it here, putting it
there. The workers were in high gear but it seems work is never done. How was your
day?” he asked, as he stroked her cheek.

“It was good,” she replied. I went out for food twice and brought home more than
enough to fill the pantry, then tidied up around here a bit,” she continued as she looked
around surveying the place with satisfaction. “I thought we might go eat at the
community house tonight. What do you think?”

“Sounds good,” he answered, “as soon as I clean up a bit, okay?” and he headed
toward the wash room. “The rain certainly filled our reservoir! What a blessing.”
Thankful for the abundant water he carefully washed, removing all the dirt from the
day’s labor. Finishing up, he lamented, ”I see our neighbors haven’t done a thing over
at their place.”

“Hmmph! That’s right. He doesn’t go to work and neither of them cares for their home.
What do they do all day? They’re sluggards, I think, and that’s a disgrace. They give
our kind a bad name. You can’t even tell what color their place is, its just a drab, brown
wilting hulk. They’re missing the joy of honorably working each day. I’m so proud of
what we’ve accomplished here. It’s beautiful and refreshing.” Her smile quickly faded.
“Sad in a way too,” she spoke wistfully. “How long before the first frost, do you think?”

Coming out of the wash room, he consoled her, saying, “Now, now, hon, it will be a
while yet. The winter should not be difficult for us this year. We’ve labored tirelessly
this summer and I think you’ll see what diligence can accomplish. I wish our neighbors
had worked hard too. I’m not sure how the community will feel about sharing with them
this winter, since they’ve been lazy and unwilling to work for the good of all. It’s very
odd, usually our kind are extremely wise and hard working.”

Heading for the entry way, he smiled lovingly at her. With his antennae he coaxed her
to come, and assuringly said, “But as for the first frost, I imagine we’ve got at least
another six weeks before we have to leave and go back underground to live with the
others in the hill. The workers have labored and harvested, the chambers are
prepared and the Queen is ready. But Sweetie, don’t worry, next year we’ll find more
flowers, and we’ll pick one just as beautiful and cozy as this flower for our summer
home.

Proverbs 6:6 NIV Go to the ant, you sluggard, consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer, or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.


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This article has been read 1015 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Garnet Miller 10/10/05
Interesting. I was confused at first until I got to the part where you mention the antennae. Nice twist on the topic.
Anita Neuman10/12/05
I'm glad you kept me guessing until the end - I knew they weren't humans, but I couldn't put my finger on it. And then it all fell into place. Well done!
Jan Ackerson 10/12/05
This piece is very close to perfection! What a masterful job you've done! My only concern is that the connection to the topic seems minimal. But this was truly great writing!
Brandi Roberts10/12/05
I really enjoyed this. I knew almost from the start it was ants. Reminded me of the story of the ant and the grasshopper. Thanks for sharing!
Alexandra Wilkin10/13/05
This is a really charming and delightful piece with a lovely twist. Well done. God bless.
Julianne Jones10/13/05
An interesting entry - thoroughly enjoyed it. Just remember quotation marks around all dialogue and this could be perfect.
J. C. Lamont10/14/05
Ok, i am really dumb, lol. I had no idea they were ants. Even when i got to the antennae, I was like, what in the world word did she mean to write, then i thought they were martians, finally at the end i caught on. Sorry for being so dense. Very cute story.
Val Clark10/15/05
Ants! What a great point of view to write form, and so cleverly disguised and carefully revealed. Well done.
Val Clark10/15/05
Grrr. That from, fingers, from not form!
Linda Watson Owen10/15/05
What a delightful story! So cute!
terri tiffany10/16/05
Cute story! There are some punctuation needs here and there but otherwise great!
Marilyn Schnepp 10/15/06
Great beginning Cassie! Had to look your "First Challenge" up and read it! It was much better than my FIRSTIE....in fact very creative...I would never have guessed you were an ant. lol. I wrote about you on the Boards...w/ a special thanks. Have another great year, fellow-Hoosier.
Jacquelyn Horne07/05/07
I got it about half way through. I guess I'm beginning to catch on to my fellow faithwriters. But it is very good and expresses a good pov.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/05/07
You had a great start with the challenge. I love your whimsical entry.
Joanne Sher 07/05/07
Cute and fun - what a delight of a first entry! Great description.
Brenda Welc07/09/07
This was awesome! I was suprised at the ending and it kept me entertained from start to finish! Great writing!
Carol Penhorwood 02/11/10
Impressive writing, Cassie. Loved this point of view.


   
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