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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)
A Christian Blossom


Christian is my seed
Who is blooming into a toddler
Growing like a weed

Christian is my seed
Blossoming into a handsome flower
Learning and flourishing each day, every hour

Christian is my seed
Planted to enrich my life and serve the Almighty
And to live in the light with love and tranquility

Christian is my seed
Being cultivated to shine
To stand out amongst all the other flowers
He is a new Christian blossom; a new breed
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
10/11/05
I'm pretty sure that Christian is your son, and your parental feelings for him are apparent. This sweet poem is very short--too short for the challenge, in fact--and if you expanded it some, it would be clearer that you are talking about your child. Also, it's not clear what you mean by "a new breed." That's something you might want to re-work or clarify.
Melanie Kerr 
10/13/05
I think you should have not worried about rhyming some of the lines - the first verse seed and weed for instance. The use of "weed" gives the impression of something undesirable and unwanted.