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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Billboard/Poster/Sign (any or all) (12/02/10)
I remember sighing as I waked into little Emily’s room that day. It had been a hard day, we’d lost Sara, and Jeffery was making a turn for the worst—I had just come from informing his parents’ that they might want to say their goodbyes.
Work at the cancer wing of Seattle Children’s Hospital was not always fun or joyous. In fact it often was sad and depressing to say the least. So on a day that was already bad I couldn’t bare it if my favorite patient was not doing well.

“Why the long face Dr. Keller?” She called out as she looked at something. Her eyes danced. “It almost Christmas time! And look,” she said holding up a big poster with a young dark hair woman on it. “Francesca is going to be at the Java Jungle today! She’s my favorite Christian singer! I wish she had a CD so I could listen to her, but she’s undiscovered. But I hope I can get my mom to take me. She told me that she has to work though, and isn’t sure if your guys’ll let me go.” She put the poster back looking at it.

“You know, the last show I went to,” she looked back at me with her brown eyes. “She talked to me, and told me that she would make sure I knew when she would be at Java Jungle. You know she’s there a lot. Anyways she come to the hospital last week and gave me this.” she said looking down at the poster.
Jesus meant the world to Emily, though I didn’t much care for him, I didn’t understand how God could let his son do that, and then not care enough to actually take away sickness that he supposedly taken care of by having his son die.
If he had gotten rid of it then why were kids like Jeffery, Sara and Emily sick and dying?

I watch the joy spring to life on Emily’s face as she talked about her favorite singer and then disappear as she realized she probably wouldn’t get the chance to. I looked at her chart, vitals and then her. She was doing well; there was no reason why she couldn’t be snuck out for a few minutes. I was going to be off soon, so why don’t I give this sweet girl her wish.
“You know Emily, I could take you.”
“Really?” her eyes light up again, hope whirling across the features of her face.
“Yes, but I have to get the okay from your mother.” She rushed to get her mother on the phone; once I was given the okay I tucked Emily into a wheelchair and went over to the café across the street. “You think I could get her to sign it? She asked as we left the hospital. I looked at the poster in her lap.
“Sure.”

Java Jungle was just that. At the front of the café was a coffee bar, and the place was all deck out with jungle creatures and leafage. Near the back was a small stage and hiding in the folds of cheetahs’ elephants’ trees’ and bushes where table and chairs.
“Whoa.” I said rolling her in.
“I know. Just wait…” she said as I moved in farther. A tiger’s roar and a monkey’s cry resounded in the café.
“Whoa.” I called out again.
“I know amazing. Oh look she’s over there already.” She said point to the stage. I pulled her up close and took a seat as Francesca took the stage. She waved and winked at Emily. She turned to me elated.
“Well, with it being the holiday season and all I thought we’d get in the mood by singing a Christmas song I wrote. It’s called You’re Here.” Her guitar started off before her voice kicked in.

“Hold on now, I gotta take a deep breath
I don’t know what to say when I look in your eyes
You made the world before I was born
Here I am holding You in my arms tonight
Noel, Noel Jesus our Emmanuel.”

She had a good voice, and though I really didn’t much believe in this Jesus like this singer and Emily did, I still enjoyed the time, and was comforted that if just for this time I was able to bring joy to Emily, and that maybe I could believe in Jesus like Emily and this singer does.



—Francesca Battistelli-You’re here—
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This article has been read 933 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/10/10
His is a lovely story you did a great job in really showing what your characters were all about. Its tough to be a nurse and super tough in a wing where most of the patients end up dying and unbelievably tough when the patients are children.

You had a few errors that a good proofreader or if you don't have one try reading it aloud at least three times. They were easily fixed things like in the 2 nd par you wrote it instead of it is or it's. When you described the Java Hungle you used deck instead of decked. In that same paragraph you use an apostrophe when describing cheetahs and other animals. You just needed an s yo make them plural.

It may seem like nitpicking over these little things but you have a powerful style of writing. You bring the reader right into the story and I found myself crossing my fingers that they would be able to go to the concert. You have a ton of raw talent. It just needs to be polished a bit. You are doing a wonderful job. Keep writing and you will keep getting better.
Pamela Lake
12/10/10
This story felt real to me - I enjoyed it very much! Keep writing!
Noel Mitaxa 
12/10/10
This is a great story, in which you have opened us up to the questions of a well-trained MC who is fighting issues that exceed her training.
I echo comments re minor typos and setting out; but you are demonstrating your capacity to show, rather than to just tell, so I look forward to reading more of your work.
Verna Mull
12/10/10
I too,look forward to more of your stories. Yes, I noticed a few typo's but the story was great, and we all make a little boo-boo now and then.
Patsy Hallum 
12/15/10
Typo's are unimportant when you are telling a story like this. My Son passed at 18 with Cancer. It is very hard to work around sick children. Thanks for putting it into words. Keep Writing.