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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Body Language (11/25/10)

TITLE: Of Doubt and Fear
By Christine Ramey
11/27/10


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Frustration moved across her face;
Staggering words were embraced.
Lips quivered as she spoke every word.
Thoughts of death ragged in her hazel eyes.
Tears ran down her cheeks in hopes of a better way.
Doubts of hope filtered, as she curled beneath the blanket.
Eyes piercing above it with anticipation for something better.

Hurt is felt and seen as she lies on the sidewalk.
Hungry from the home she had to abandon.
Her heart was scared and afraid of what would come next.
The relaxation came in that this could very well be the life she would have to live.
Thoughts are restless, she just wanted to survive and move away from where she was.
Desperate for work but none she could find in the hurting economy she found herself in.
She begged as people passed her by in hopes for a dime or two just to buy a cup of coffee nearby.

Folks around her were hurting just as much as she was.
She sensed it from the lack of money she received.
Emptiness could be felt as they carried on about their business.
Shelters she ran to but the lines wrapped around the corner and all were full.
Church pantries had been cleaned out from others who were starving and children to feed.
The only support she ever received was a prayer or two to get her through the day.
She was thankful that God was listening and for the kind minister that prayed with her every day.

A backpack on her shoulders and love in her heart, she left the building.
The pavement hit the bottom of her feet as the shoes had holes beneath them.
Pants ragged and torn.
Life was tragic as the smell could be smelt from those around her.
Nevertheless, the heart was what could be felt the most.
Bitterness was in her smile.
Loneliness dashed across her hurting soul.

Walking along side of her grocery cart she struggled with her pride.
Holding the few precious items in her hands she prayed a prayer of thanksgiving.
Wrapping herself in the rags her pride was noted by those around.
Yet, she didn’t seem to let this discourage her from the faith she now found.
The week had passed from what seemed like forever.
For days she kept thinking of the minister and the words he had shared.
“Come to church on Sunday.” He said with a calming voice.

She dared the thought as the appearance was her main concerned.
What would folks say as they passed by me? She wondered.
Wouldn’t they notice my smell and ragged clothes?
Ideas floated in her mind and wondered if she should go or not go.
She desired so much to know more about this Jesus he spoke highly of.
But, didn’t know how these folks would respond to her.
Sunday morning had come as she rose to her feet and got prepared to go.

She had decided that she’d go anyway and carried her buggy with her.
In her mind she knew that knowing God was all that mattered.
She had longed for this kind of relationship for years.
On her way there she searched through her bags hoping for something better to wear.
But to her surprised a Bible was found instead.
She didn’t know how anyone could through such a thing away, but she didn’t really care.
All that mattered was the fact she didn’t feel as though she had nothing.

Bible in hand, she walked to the door of the little brown church.
The minister stood there as he looked at her and smiled.
His eyes glanced down at the rugged clothes she wore and smiled once again.
He wanted her to know everything was okay no matter how she looked.
“Come on in,” he said politely.
Stumbling in the door with pride and humility she took her seat at the back of the church.
Service had begun over the next several minutes.

People walked around her laughing and giggling from the site of her.
She didn’t pay attention though as she waited to hear the message.
The music was upbeat as her hands beat off tune.
The minister had told everyone to greet one another and she did.
But those around her looked at her hands of fifth and turned away.
The message soon was heard off how God loved her and she wanted this.
The invitation was given and she accepted this love.


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This article has been read 397 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull 12/02/10
Great ending. Enjoyed the read.
Lillian Rhoades 12/05/10
You've given a great description of how doubt and fear can grip the homeless and the down and out. It's true, the Church needs to be more proactive. Not sure if this was meant to be a poem in free verse. You've included enough detail to develop the material into an actual story.

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/05/10
What a touching story. Very few people would have that courage. It's sad that many church members would laugh at her or give her a look. You gave a good message.
Colin Swann12/07/10
An interesting piece. Lots of good description - just a couple of typos but nothing much. Check out some of the masters' pieces for presentation. Thanks for sharing a very interesting article. Colin
Henry Clemmons12/07/10
The very heart of this piece is excellent. It's a little wordy in places, but there is much passion in your voice, and I could actually hear your heatbeat with compassion for your MC. You have the talent and anointing, the small things will come. Great job. I look forward to reading more from you. This piece is especially good when read out loud.
Lollie Hofer 12/07/10
I agree with Henry...the word "passion" came to mind while I was reading this story. This was raw with strong emotion. It's a message the church (that includes me) truly does need to hear.
Rachel Phelps12/08/10
What a wonderful topic for this prompt. Excellent work, though I agree with Henry that it was a bit wordy at moments. Keep writing.
Brenda Rice 12/08/10
Thanks for sharing this interesting approach to this week's topic. I have a heart for the homeless and your piece touched me.