Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Breathe (08/19/10)

TITLE: The Chore of Moving
By Christine Ramey
08/23/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 NIV Bible Study

Boxes lined my living room floor on the day I had to move. I was in an awkward situation as I was separating from my husband. The move was tough on me that day. I watched as the movers grabbed each box swiftly as if it was a marathon of sorts. While I sat in my chair watching them I tried to hide my tears I wanted so much to cry. I saw the remaining pictures on the wall and looked around the empty room wondering what was next in my life.

I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do but thoughts crept into my mind as I sat there unable to do anymore until we arrived at my parent’s house.

Finally, all of the boxes had been packed into the van within a thirty minute period and the movers told me it was time to go.

My heart sunk but relief I felt as I looked once more and turned to the door leaving the rest behind. I slammed the door shut and I walked toward the car. It was the first time in years that I felt as though my weight I had carried had been lifted from my shoulders. I could suddenly breathe again for the first time in years! It was amazing.

I listened to my Christian CD and crying all the way to my parent’s house; which was a forty-five minute drive from my house. This verse sustained me as I drove along those roads that day. It wasn’t long that we pulled into the driveway of my new home. The tears that I’d been shedding finally seemed to disappear.

I couldn’t believe I was on a new journey. A journey, to be transformed. This was my mission in life. I couldn’t do this due to the circumstances of my marriage made it impossible for me to serve Him the way I needed too.

I got out of the car and had my father come out to direct the guys to the front steps of our house. They got out once the truck had stopped and then began the moving again.

They were quick and I had to admit that but then it came time for them to move my couch. I squelched as I watched them try to carry this thing upstairs to my middle room that would become my living room.

See, my parents had created a whole one bedroom apartment upstairs for me to live. It was a place that I could stay close if I got sick or needed help. I am a Type 1 Diabetic and have other health issues so this was a necessity.

I watched eagerly as they guided the couch up the stairs almost hitting the banister and knocking it over a couple of times. Things didn’t look good. They arrived at the top of the stairs and guided it toward my bedroom and tried to ease it into the doorway. The doorway was too small.

“Man, this isn’t going to fit.” The mover guy announced. My dad in the other room came and peeked out the door to have a look. “This is not going in there.” He yelled downstairs to my mother. “What? It won’t fit? What do we do now?” She asked concerned.

“See if any of the other couches will work up here or we will have to go without.” My dad replied to her. “Okay, they need to come down stairs and I’ll show them.” Mom answered.

So, the guys responded by sliding the couch around and pulling on it until it moved out of the way. Only when they did they pocked a whole in the ceiling.

The couch was taken back downstairs and another one was brought upstairs. It fit much better and was actually a nicer couch. So it all worked out even with the rough spots.

The movers had finally gone home and I sat on the stairs thinking. Mom came by and asked me, “How do you feel now?” “I can breathe again! Now, it is just getting this boxes unpacked.” I replied.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 385 times
Member Comments
Member Date
AnneRene' Capp 08/27/10
Oh, how my heart ached for the MC. I was right beside her through the entire read, experiencing the ups and downs you described so well. I also felt the comfort of being able to start a new life "not weighted down" and was happy to know that it didn't start alone.

I would have liked to have seen the ending, expounded on just a wee bit more. :)
Verna Mull 08/27/10
One thing that you can always be sure of, if you tell a good story, everyone looks at it differently anyway!:) Personally, I loved the ending. It fit in so good for the topic.
Patsy Hallum08/27/10
Good story, I liked the trouble with the couch. It was a bad situation that turned out good just like the MCs life will. Keep writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/27/10
You did a great job describing how hard it would be to leave your husband. I could picture the MC as she moved into her parent's home ,it must have been bittersweet. Although you did manage to slide the topic word in there, the story wasn't really about the topic. But then in a way I could see how it was like an analogy-starting a new life is a lot like taking a fresh breath. Keep writing, you've done a great job so far.
Virgil Youngblood 08/30/10
Sometimes marriage problems can't be resolved, or seem that way. Curious me wanted to know what went wrong. You did a good job of putting your life story on paper, which is not an easy thing to do.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/30/10
I was reading your hint, and while i already commented on how much I liked the story, I thought I'd drop in and give you a tiny bit of red ink. Make sure you start a new paragraph when a different speaker starts talking(it doesn't matter how short the sentence is, even a one word quote should be in a separate paragraph.) With that said you're doing a great job, I've seen you really develop your style and voice in the last few weeks. keep up the great work! :)