The Official Writing Challenge
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This is an excellent rendition of the Blind Man in the Bible. The lack of hope he felt really tugged at my heart.

You need to work on the mechanics of writing so that it is easier for the reader to read. Try a shorter paragraph in the beginning and add some white space between the paragraphs as well as starting a new paragraph when a new person starts talking.

You had some many vivid details and you brought out a lot of emotion in me. I found my heart pounding several times while reading this story.

You did a great job with the actual story telling. It just needs some polishing which is easily done. Great job.
This is a beautiful piece. You brought Jesus to life with your words. I could almost feel His presence while reading. The way you bring people in and out of the story gives the reader more of a sense of what the blind man experienced. I find this one unique and right on topic.
08/03/10
I like the way you brought this familiar story to life. It does need a little re-working, but definitely, keep writing.
08/03/10
I liked the point of view you chose for this story.

Think about what the man thought when he could first see... How he reacted. I felt the reaction was a bit... "subdued." I was expecting more excitement!

I think you captured the man's feelings of inadequacy well, though. Very good!
08/04/10
Beautiful article based on one of my favorite stories about Jesus' healing power!
Short and SO sweet....
I once was blind; NOW I SEE!
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level!
I really enjoyed this re-telling of one of my very favorite stories in the Bible!