The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 416 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/04/10
The line about lollipop having a big head made me grin. This was cute!
03/04/10
Some cute things in here, but too many characters for my small mind to grasp. I hardly remembered that all of these things actually exist! I liked the lollypop remark also. That was a real cute pun.
03/04/10
I totally agree with the prior statements. I like this line after the big head one also:
Taking another bow, he started to wave, but his arm was stuck to his side.
Pride will get us every time.
I thought this was a very cute and entertaining entry. I think you meant Snickers, not sneakers, which bothered me only because it is my favorite candy bar. Unlike the others my personal favorite was the early comment about getting stuck on someone. The candy / infatuation connection were just right for my sense of humor. Later ones taking into account a humanization of common sweets and treats was a very nice twist on the more common anthropomorphism.
I loved it! LOL

Great creativity! There were a few grammar errors here and there. Also, I agree with David, "Sneakers" should be "Snickers" since you use famous candy names throughout the story.

I loved the title and how you brought this story to life. You used the assigned word correctly and most importantly, you captured my attention throughout. I wanted to read your story and was sad when it was over.

That being said, it only needs some minor editing, but I would LOVE to see this story in print.
03/05/10
Loved it! More characters makes it more interesting for me. And since I'm a chocoholic, I loved it even more. Do something more with this one.
This is so original. I giggled throughout. My absolute favorite was the snotty cough drop-hysterical!
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!