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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Eek! (02/25/10)

TITLE: Don't Get Stuck On Yourself
By Cindy Carver
02/26/10


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Lollipop didn’t know what to do. He really wanted to ask Baby Ruth to the party, but just thinking about it made him sweat. When he did, he got so sticky, anything he touched he’d stick to almost like glue. It was terrible, especially with girls, and holding hands. It wasn’t so romantic to truly be stuck to someone, especially on a first date. It was awful. He’d about given up on the idea of even asking. After all, he didn’t think she would say yes.

His buddies all had dates.

Bubble Gum already had a date with Fresh Mint, and Life Saver had his pick from a variety of girls.

Sneakers was always pretty cunning when it came to talking someone into something. He had somehow convinced Peppermint Patty to go with him, and she was pretty sweet on Butter Finger, but Butter Finger just wasn’t as smooth a talker as Sneakers.

Gummy Bear had asked Sweet Tart. Lollipop didn’t think anyone else could deal with Sweet Tarts’ personality, but Gummy didn’t mind. He just ignored her when she was moody, and gave her a hug. They were the typical ‘odd couple’ that worked out just right.

Lollipop had heard the ABC Chiclets triplets where going together just to hang out.

The only other option was to ask Cough Drop to go with him. They’d been friends forever and she didn’t make him nervous, but ever since he had told her he liked Baby Ruth, she had acted snotty towards him.

Sigh, “Girls are so difficult.”

“EEEEEEEEEKKKKK!”

Lollipop went running towards the shriek.

The ABC Chiclets triplets were clinging to the bottom of the table while a big grey mouse snapped at them with sharp white teeth, ready to chew them up.

On top of the table Baby Ruth screamed, “Help us, run home and get Poppa Blow Pop. He’ll save us.”

That was enough for Lollipop, sticky hands or not, he ran for the mouse in a head butt. The mouse fell over, shaking its head and running off, knowing he’d never be able to take a bite out of something that hard.

The ABC Chiclets triplets cheered. Still afraid to let go of the table, they stretched as far as they could without falling and clapped and snapped bubbles for applause. Baby Ruth went nuts doing a cheer leading dance just for Lollipop, though he hadn’t hit a home run, it was the only cheer she knew.

Lollipop realized he shouldn’t be so proud. He had a big enough head already, so he humbly accepted their applause and cheers while bowing.

Asking Baby Ruth out might not be so bad he thought, after all I’m a hero. Taking another bow, he started to wave, but his arm was stuck to his side.

Well, maybe not.


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This article has been read 258 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 03/04/10
The line about lollipop having a big head made me grin. This was cute!
Verna Mull03/04/10
Some cute things in here, but too many characters for my small mind to grasp. I hardly remembered that all of these things actually exist! I liked the lollypop remark also. That was a real cute pun.
Donna Wolther03/04/10
I totally agree with the prior statements. I like this line after the big head one also:
Taking another bow, he started to wave, but his arm was stuck to his side.
Pride will get us every time.
David Pendleton03/05/10
I thought this was a very cute and entertaining entry. I think you meant Snickers, not sneakers, which bothered me only because it is my favorite candy bar. Unlike the others my personal favorite was the early comment about getting stuck on someone. The candy / infatuation connection were just right for my sense of humor. Later ones taking into account a humanization of common sweets and treats was a very nice twist on the more common anthropomorphism.
Delores McCarter03/05/10
I loved it! LOL

Great creativity! There were a few grammar errors here and there. Also, I agree with David, "Sneakers" should be "Snickers" since you use famous candy names throughout the story.

I loved the title and how you brought this story to life. You used the assigned word correctly and most importantly, you captured my attention throughout. I wanted to read your story and was sad when it was over.

That being said, it only needs some minor editing, but I would LOVE to see this story in print.
Allen Stark03/05/10
Loved it! More characters makes it more interesting for me. And since I'm a chocoholic, I loved it even more. Do something more with this one.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/10
This is so original. I giggled throughout. My absolute favorite was the snotty cough drop-hysterical!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/11/10
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!