DID JESUS JUST INSULT ME?
I went to bed feeling worthless. I’ve had many days where I just didn’t understand why God created such a loser like me. I felt like a lost little girl, who can never do anything right. I lay in bed crying out, “Oh God, I’m worthless. I feel so alone and scared. Please help me.”
That night I dreamed about my mother. It was like she was right there inside my head. I looked at her and asked, “What are you doing here, poking around my dreams?” Panic filled me as a thought came crashing through my subconscious. “Does that mean there is no heaven?”
My mom smiled lovingly at me, patted my head, and said, “Jesus promised He would always be by your side and it’s just like He said. There is a Heaven and so much more.”
“But I feel so alone and scared, like a little 5 year-old getting ready to cross a busy street with no one’s hand to hold.” My mom kissed my head and was gone.
Suddenly I was awakened by a glorious light. It made the darkness melt away. As I looked around in awe, I heard a powerful voice, telling me that I was alone- a little girl lost by my own choice.
When my eyes adjusted to the light I noticed I was no longer alone. I saw a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend. Then Jesus spoke to me, He held my hand and said, “All you will ever need is within your reach. I gave you everything when I planted your seed. I am the Gardener. I’m here all the time to help My plants grow and keep them in line.”
I looked at Jesus with wonder and asked, “What kind of plant am I?” I wanted to be something beautiful, like a rose. I could see myself as a strong and useful tree, even something mysterious, perhaps an elusive plant deep in the sea.
But my mouth flew open with a “Huh? No way!” when Jesus told me I was a mere weed.
Jesus chuckled lovingly at the look on my face. He gently told me, “You were planted for a special reason in a very particular place. When humans try to think like God, they almost always get it wrong. I made you a dandelion because it is beautiful and strong. I knew you would face trials and troubles. There were to be many difficult tasks, so like the dandelion, I gave you perseverance and versatility. I wanted you to be able to last a long time.”
Then the others in the room spoke one by one. The mother in me said, “Remember when your children picked the first flower of the year? It was always a dandelion in their hands that brought a smile to your face and tears to your eyes.”
The sister in me reminded me of the white fluff that blew our wishes to heaven with a little spit and a mighty puff.
My friend persona softly said, “We loved picking dandelions in the back yard. We would talk and dance for hours.”
“Don’t forget the dandelion chain,” chided the part of me that is a wife. “You’d hook the flowers together and dream of the future love of your life.”
Even my little girl lost had something she wished to say, “If you ever need to know if you like butter, just rub a dandelion under your chin.”
Jesus squeezed my hand and said. “I made you strong and tough, just like the feisty dandelion. You are capable of all kinds of wonderful things. Some see a dandelion as a beautiful and useful flower; others see just a troubling weed. It is up to you to choice what you want to be. I will help you. You just need to follow My lead. You need to have faith and learn how to trust. I am always by your side. I am your rock. I am Jesus.”
Wow! At first I felt insulted. I couldn’t believe Jesus thought I was a weed, now I realize that I am blessed instead of cursed. I know now, if I ever feel lost and alone again I just need to look and find inside of me the mother, the wife, the friend, and the sister, but most of all my Savior, Jesus, who set me free.
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