The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/15/09
I was somewhat confused with the flashback scenes during the first read. Poignant story.
11/16/09
I liked the "Not everything." stated throughout the story. It makes it more powerful in the end. Hopefully the trail will keep getting better for each generation.
You can definitely tell a good story. I think it could be strengthened by better structuring of the flashbacks so the readers can know and understand the time and events. I think Jan did a class of flashbacks...if you get a chance, check it out for some valuable tips.
I also had a difficult time with the flashbacks. But it was a very moving story, and you told it well, with the intensity building to its emotional conclusion. A horrible time in our history, told with love and sensitivity.
11/18/09
Nice work Sarah, I really appreciated the details (the digging and marking of the grave) and your choice for the topic was awesome. Appropriate formatting vexes me as well at times, but once I realized what you were trying to accomplish, I really, really enjoyed it. Great job!
I really liked your story. My heart was pained to read of the family's struggle.
11/19/09
I was confused a bit too, but looking deeper one can find the heart of this touching story.
11/19/09
Good story and well deserved placement. Flashbacks were a little hard to follow but necessary to the story. Thank you for sharing a part of history, and a part of yourself.