The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/15/08
Very nice job with the dialogue, and I love how both of them "warmed" to Christ at the same time, despite their different views. Nice.
11/17/08
I like the way that your dialogue picks up speed and conveys emotion.
I suspect that a little more attribution would help to move it along, whether direct (Jack said) or implied (Jack looked away), as well as to reinforce in the reader's mind exactly who is responsible for which thread. But well done.
11/17/08
A very heart-warming read and well-written piece. You have captured the expressed feelings of the moments when the words 'I AM real' was revealed to the characters very well.