Waking had come too easy and too early. As she sat up in bed, the old familiar chill pricked at her bare arms, sending waves of shivers up and down her spine.
“Too early, too dark, and too cold,” she said; into the thin air that knew only the sound of her voice.
Sarah wished she could climb back in bed and pull the covers tightly over her head. Maybe, just maybe, she could really get some sleep. She had tossed, “Should she?” and turned, “Shouldn’t she?” and moaned, “Will she?” and groaned, “Won’t she?” most of the night away.
Shrugging off the temptation to cover up and hide, she put both feet firmly on the threadbare carpet with resolve to, “Make a decision.”
Making her way to the closet, she found her old terry robe lying in a heap on the floor. Deep in thought, “Should I?” she wrapped its softness around her. Cinching the belt with a tighter than normal tug, “Shouldn’t I?’ she questioned.
She grouped in the shadowy corner of her closet for her favorite worn-out fluffy slippers, all the while contemplating, “Will I?” Wiggling her feet into their awaiting soles, she felt comforted.
“Won’t I’s?” floated across her path as she walked down the hall.
As she made her way to the kitchen the glaring question, “What should I do?” came with the flip of the light switch, causing her sleepy eyes to shut momentarily. “Coffee, coffee, coffee, I need coffee,” she brooded.
Sitting at the small kitchen table, she yawned and shook her head, the smell of the fresh brew whiffed its way into her senses making her feel more awake and ready to move ahead with the decision she needed to make.
Upon taking the first sip of the darkness steaming up from her cup, she knew in her heart the reason behind the fretfulness of her night and the shadow of apprehension that was filling up her morning.
It was the stranger she was introduced to last night. It was the certainty in his voice that she remembers the most. They way in which he spoke that left her restless, yet at ease. It was his honesty, his convictions, his confidence, and his loyalty that pierced through her thoughts all night and penetrated her heart this morning.
He wanted her to give everything up. He wanted her to choose him over everyone else. He wanted her trust, her faith, and her hope. He wanted her to receive him, believe him, and never to doubt him. He wanted her heart in its wholeness, her inter most thoughts, and every idea that popped into her mind.
He wanted to be her friend, her supporter, and her partner. He wanted to be her healer, her mender, and the repairer of her life. He wanted to be her helper, her comforter, her guide and leader.
He wanted to love her, forgive her, and redeem her. And, so he invited her to be with him.
At first, Sarah felt intimidated and embarrassed. The truth was she wasn’t sure she had the guts to go though with his invitation. She had never heard it put this way before and it scared her. Panic began to rise, like heartburn, the tightness in her chest that followed – was the coldness of fear.
She worried about what others would think. What would they say? How will the acceptance of his invitation affect my job, my home, my family, and my friends? How could she risk everything she has?
Did she dare to lose it all for him?
Her mind whirled and spun, like the tail on the end of a kite, until she found her head pounding, or was that the sound of her feet hitting the pavement as she ran off?
But, there was no escaping the truth – his words followed her home. She wrestled with them under her covers and struggled with them over her coffee. Perhaps, it was the steam rising from her cup, that made the fog of her mind dissipate.
She knew what she had to do.
Yes, she was up to the challenge.
Yes, he was worth the gamble.
Yes, she was willing to take the risk and lose it all.
And, so there on her kitchen floor wrapped warmly in her robe, on bended knees, supported by her favorite slippers – her soul met the comforter and she gained Jesus as her Lord and Savior.
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